No Hard Feelings

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 1 USERS: C+
A rose by any other name, would look like a creepy old guy.

Spongehead Squarejaw asks if Sloane understands the message and he says he gets it well enough to proceed. However, since Rambaldi was one of those mystics who took into account every last variable, the fact that Anna is posing as Syd concerns him. What if she can't complete the task because she's not really Sydney? Well, I guess we'll never know because she actually IS Sydney, so this entire line of questioning is really moot, no? Syd and Peyton show up and Sydney sees Sloane for the first time since he defected from APO. "Sloane's here," Sydney rather stupidly says. Peyton's like, uh, DUH. You already met with him. What, were you expecting a big purple dinosaur? "You didn't think we'd dispose of him this soon, did you?" snarks Peyton.

Sloane walks over and congratulates Anna on the unnecessary chip retrieval. Way to travel great distances to get your hands on something we don't care about, Anna! Great job! He asks if she encountered any problems, and she says just one. "But I've dealt with her once and for all," she says with a smile. "We should celebrate, Arvin. Sydney Bristow is dead." Sloane immediately knows this isn't true because he didn't feel a wrenching tear in the deepest part of his soul as he's supposed to whenever anything happens to Sydney. Or, you know, he totally buys that Sydney is Anna and we go to the credits. For the next-to-last time!

And now is the time on Alias when we go, "Who needs chips or useless prophecies when we can DANCE DANCE DANCE?!" Oh, and "DRINK DRINK DRINK!"

After the break, Sydney's checking out the blood-spattered Page 47. In case we have never watched this show and are just checking it out now, for the very first time, in its next-to-last episode, Sloane repeats the fact that Rambaldi referred to Sydney as "The Chosen One" and says that she would be responsible for bringing forth his final works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've heard that one before. A big machine that spits out the word, "Peace"? Been there, done that, bought the ridiculously over-priced postcard, thanks. Sydney makes another minor mistake when she questions Sloane about the whole "guy who lived 500 years ago having intentions for Sydney Bristow" concept. "Excuse me," says Sloane, moving closer, "I may be mistaken, but I had always believed you to be a follower of Rambaldi's works."

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