Alias
No Hard Feelings

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 1 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A rose by any other name, would look like a creepy old guy.

Is anyone else as sick of Stephen King's Desperation as I am? No? Moving on.

Syd and Sark are escorted inside the prison walls. As Syd walks through, she notices an older man with sunken cheeks and some hideous dark circles beneath his eyes. I totally thought he was Rambaldi, y'all. At APO, Jack checks with Marshall to see if he's been able to access the prison's internal network. Marshall says he hasn't, but Vaughn and Dixon are moving through the sewers in order to access the prison's junction box and get access to the network. Vaughn and Dix quickly make their way to the junction box and try to splice the line and access the surveillance feed. "Do it quickly," says Jack. "I don't like the idea of Sydney being in a maximum security prison with Sark as her backup." Neither do we, Jack. Neither do we.

Sark gets closed into his cell with a rather portly gentleman in a wife-beater. Fat Man in Little Shirt eyeballs Sark's ass has he passes, as would we all, really. Sark walks right over to a mirror and attempts to remove something from his tooth as Fat Man in Little Shirt suggests in Italian that Sark should become his Personal Bitch in order to make his incarceration a wee bit more pleasurable. Sark gets whatever he was looking for out of his mouth and says in English, "Lucky for you, I won't be here for long. Otherwise, I'd pull out your tongue and choke you with it." Heh. They smile at each other and Sark puts the item back into his mouth and starts coughing. Suddenly, he's gagging and spitting and spasming down on the floor. Fat Man in Little Shirt starts calling for help. "The beautiful man is dying!" he shouts out through the door. Hee. Yes. The beautiful man is indeed dying.

God. Back with the Most Boring Side Plot Ever. Getty and Rachel break into the Amazing Car Lot of Abandoned Witness Protection Automobiles. They creep around, with Rachel bouncing along as if she's doing a pantomime of someone creeping stealthily. They finally make it to Korman's car and lift the hood in order to hotwire it. Getty's handling the hotwiring and Rachel asks if she can help. Yeah, she can. If by "help" you mean, "stand over there and keep an eye out for the guard." Rachel slinks off to the side and Getty attempts to get the hotwiring under way. Too bad he has NO idea what a carburetor is. "Is there any particular reason you're connecting the carburetor to the intake tube?" she snits. "This is the carburetor?" he asks. "Yeah," she says. "Maybe...I should keep an eye out for the guard," he says, relinquishing control of the hotwiring to the more capable Rachel. Heh. Okay, ONE funny moment does not an entertaining or relevant subplot make.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Alias

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP