Previously on Alias: Syd and Vaughn went to Russia and pretended to be a married couple from 1952 in order to infiltrate a Russian sleeper spy camp. Or something. Vaughn and Syd were taking it slow. And then they weren't. And then they were. And then they…soaped each other down in the Spy Shower of Anti-Bugging Devices and the Taking It Slow 2005 plan sort of dissolved. Or, at least, until the next out-of-order episode shows up and Taking It Slow 2005 Redux rears its ugly head yet again. Like…during THIS episode.
Speaking of this episode, we begin at the Universiteit van Amsterdam. A girl runs in a sort of slo-mo into a classroom and takes her seat as the teacher talks. The class seems to be a language class and the students are learning how to construct sentences in English. One of the students is asked to describe three things she saw on the way to class. She winds up telling a humorous tale of Klaus kissing Kristina and, while the rest of the class giggles at the utterly amusing story, one of the students' cell phone rings. The teacher sort of snappishly orders the student, Anna, to turn her phone off. I have to say that the second the teacher said the name "Anna," I immediately thought we were going to see Anna Espinosain the chair and suddenly realize that this was actually a spy training class from the past or something. But it's not Anna, it's just a confused-looking blonde student. Since Sydney's nowhere to be found in this scene, I have to admit, I had NO idea what was going on.
So, Professor O'Paranoid orders Anna to turn off her phone. Anna looks around at the rest of the students all, "The hell? What's up with the prof?" Anna pulls out her phone and says that it wasn't ringing. Professor O'Paranoid gets this freaked look on her face and suddenly runs out of the class. Out in the hall, the teacher runs into some creepy bald guy and tries to run the other direction, pulling a gun out of her purse as she runs. Baldy shows up again around the corner, however, and when Professor O'Paranoid turns to run the other way, Baldy's at the end of the hall as well. So either there are several Baldy clones running around, or Professor O'Paranoid is hallucinating. Guess which one it is. As the teacher starts pointing her gun around willy-nilly, Baldy suddenly disappears. Just then, one of the students comes out and Prof O'Paranoid points the gun at her. Then Baldy reappears at the end of the hall with a gun and a silencer as the student screeches at her teacher. Breathing heavily, Prof O'Paranoid finally spazzes something at the student in Dutch and then…puts the gun under her own chin and pulls the trigger. Damn. Way to open the show, y'all.