Alias
Pandora

Episode Report Card
Erin: A | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Did we really need another Mr. Sloane?

Syd's heading toward her desk when Dix intercepts her. He has Clippers tickets, third row center, and he can't go 'cuz he has to go get shot by Vaughn. Syd can't go either. She's swamped with worrying about her boyfriend and cleaning underneath the refrigerator. Dix can't give them to his son because he's twelve and has a rather demanding date who doesn't like the Clippers. The hell? I didn't date when I was twelve. I barely moved when I was twelve. Dixon leaves, throwing back a "We should have dinner" invite as he goes. Nadia shows up and tells Syd that they need to talk.

Corridor of Non-Bugging Devices Because Why Would They Be Talking Like This If There Were. Syd's all, dude? How long have you been hanging out with Auntie Katya? Nadia's all, it was our third visit. Relax. Syd's all, "relax"? This is exactly why I warned you about her, okay? Nadia's like, oh, get down off your high horse. Katya's the only damn person who has been willing to talk to me about our mother. "Irina Derevko was manipulative and cruel," sneers Syd. "She was also our mother," says Nadia. Syd's like, oh, please. I know this may come as some surprise to you, but our mother, while having killer arms and a nice head of hair, was a complete and utter beeyotch. Nadia's all, yeah, honey, I know her crimes. I also know she helped your ass at the CIA. "Until she betrayed us," spits Syd. "Which she always did." Oh, snap. "There's more to her than is in her file," says Nadia. "Katya told me stories --" "And you believed her?" asks Syd, incredulous. "Well, some of it, yes," says Nadia. Oh, Nadia. You're SO not a Derevko. If you were, you would have had a healthy distrust of every last thing that came out of Katya's mouth. Trust me on this.

Syd tries to convince Nadia that she's deluding herself. "I'm sorry," she says. "I've been through this before. Katya is doing the same thing to you that Irina did to me. Telling me what I wanted to hear, appealing to what I wanted, more than anything else in the world -- a mother. A family. It was all a manipulation." Syd looks at her sister. "Do you want to know the truth about our mother? Our mother put a hit on my life. Our mother tried to have me killed." "Why didn't you tell me?" asks Nadia. "There was never any reason to," says Syd. "Oh my god, Syd," says Nadia. "If I knew, I --" "Where is she? Katya?" says Syd. Nadia tells her that Katya's in the hospital. Syd heads off.

Bordeaux. Vaughn and Izzy burst into the emergency room. Izzy's got blood all over her forehead. Vaughn's dressed in a tux. I'm torn between paying attention to the rest of this scene and watching Michael Vartan in a tux. It's a nice war. Vaughn talks to some random doctor in French and says that a car came out of nowhere and now his sweet girl is injured. The doctors put Izzy on a gurney and haul her into another area. She's crying and screaming and generally acting like a woman injured. Vaughn follows, arguing with the doctor in French. Oh, good god, do I love to listen to Michael Vartan speak French. The doctor attending Izzy starts fully examining her and when he begins to peel off her fake wound, the jig, she is up. She floors her doctor and Vaughn floors his. "I always hated going to the doctor," smirks Izzy, peeling off her "wound." She and Vaughn grab the doctors' ID badges and change into nurse and doctor uniforms in order to go grab the cold laser.

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Alias

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