Alias
Pandora

Episode Report Card
Erin: A | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Did we really need another Mr. Sloane?

Storage Facility of Poorly Received Bad Girl Seductions. Izzy's treating a wound on Vaughn's arm as she remarks that she saw Vaughn's face when she killed the guard and surmises that he didn't like it so much, even though she saved his life. "You haven't stopped brooding since we left the hospital," she says. "Yeah? Well, maybe it's because I don't like being here," he snaps at her. "With you." HA! Izzy just leans in and says that she thinks this is exactly where he wants to be. She then proceeds to nuzzle and kiss his neck. Vaughn's kind of lets her do it a little, making us think that maybe he likes it, but then he just hauls off and throws her down on the cot, spitting, "Consider this the second time you've been rejected by the CIA." HEE! He gets off her and storms off. That's what you get for messin' wit mah man, SLUT.

Maximum Security Prison Hospital of Duplicitous Aunties. Syd stalks in and orders Katya to stay the hell away from her sister. Katya's just like, okay, you need to bring the 'tude down a few notches, sweetheart. You think you have it all figured out, but you don't. Far from it. "The last time I saw you, Aunt Katya, you tried to put a bullet in my head," sneers Syd. "Given the opportunity, I wouldn't mind seeing you suffer. Consider this visit a warning. Leave Nadia alone." Syd starts to leave, her task completed. "I had no intention of killing you," says Katya. "And neither did your mother." Syd stops and turns around. "What do you know about that?" Katya goes on to say that since being told that Irina wanted her dead, Syd's probably been racking her brains trying to figure out why Irina might have wanted her eliminated. "Before dying," says Katya, "Irina tried to contact me. She believed someone was setting her up, wanting it to appear that she was trying to have you killed. I need you to get me that message. Bring it to me. It's the least you could do for her." Syd just stares at her aunt as if she's covered in pink frosting and chocolate sprinkles.

Marshall's Garage of Geekdom. Sloane enters and berates Marshall for authorizing the Jack's DNA test tube analysis. Marshall blames his scatterbrain-ness on being a new father and not getting lots of sleep lately. He cagily asks if the results came back on the sample, and Sloane tells him that they did and that they're not good. The subject was suffering from a large-scale genetic mutation. Sloane thinks the sample belongs to one of Elya's dead patients, not Jack. Sloane reprimands Marshall again, some more, and once he leaves, Marshall looks distinctly green around the gills because Spy Daddy is apparently going to morph into donkey-tailed web-footed duck-billed freak or something.

Deep Down Baddie Den of Iniquities. The baddies are trying to cement their plan. Omar mentions something about how the "instruction manual" they're stealing is the creation of a fifteenth-century inventor. Vaughn's Rambaldi bells must be clanging away. I know mine are. Omar starts laying out the route plan and mentions an armored transport and suddenly, Vaughn somehow realizes that they're going to be hitting a CIA convoy. He pulls Omar into a side room and bitches at him about needing Vaughn all along for this gig, with or without the stupid coil. Omar basically says, yeah, pretty much. You got a problem wit dat? He says that a lot. Omar goes on to say that Vaughn should be thanking him for tracking his father down, which, considering how this entire situation turns out, is kind of, well, rude, actually. Vaughn's like, dude, you're asking me to betray my agency. Omar's like, color me a bright shade of I don't give a shit. Vaughn's all, if I do this, I can't go back to the CIA. Omar's all, that has a certain bit of symmetry to it, no? Like father, like son. Omar continues to pull that psychobabble booshit on Vaughn, saying that Bill Vaughn is a bad guy because he let his wife and son think he was dead for twenty-five years. "That's a bad guy," says Omar. He tells Vaughn to think about that, and Vaughn fires up his four thousandth forehead wrinkle and starts pondering the badness of his daddy.

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Alias

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