Alias
Parity

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Spy Vs. Spy

Vaughn asks Sydney to hum a few bars of that old favorite, the Exposition Waltz, and tell him about Ana Espinosa. Sydney speaks: Last of the Cold War babies; born in Cuba, raised in Russia. They had an encounter where Ana taped Sydney with an informant in Yugoslavia and then blew the informant's head off with a sniper rifle, just to let Sydney know she was out of her league. I think that's a pretty good signal, myself. Vaughn tells her to be careful. Sydney says she'll see him when she gets back. Vaughn breaks the news that he's no longer on her case, but that it was really good to meet her. Michael Vartan sure does make a specialty of looking sensitive and pained. He must get those expressions dry-cleaned regularly so they stay shiny and fresh, since he uses them in all his scenes. Sydney looks perturbed.

CIA. Vaughn. He's bitching to Sean about how no one knows what they're doing and that Lambert, the agent they've assigned to her, "may be senior, but he's junior [points at head], trust me."

The shores of Lake Overlap. Sean tells him he's gotten too attached and is jealous of Lambert; simultaneously, Vaughn yells at Sean to shut up and that that's Sean's answer for everything. Vaughn says he's genuinely scared since Sydney is out there with a renegade agent gunning for the same object. Sean tells him to chill.

Madrid. Ah, Madrid! Land of churros, cioccolate, y El Palac de Jamon y El Museo de Jamon. That whole city is pictures of Jesus, and ham. The people there sure do like to dance, though. What a country! as that poor bastard Yakov Smirnov might say.

Close-up of the tattooed, humping hand we saw earlier. THH is gripping a case. Pan up to Ana Espinosa, a.k.a. Gina Torres from Hercules and Cleopatra 2525. The Techno Of Tenseness apparently subcontracted out to some traveling flamenco-guitar-playing buskers. It's not unpleasant.

CIA. Vaughn. Lambert leafs through Sydney's file. He says, "Look at her. Wouldn't kick that out of bed." Ew. Smarmy Lambert exits, leaving a trail of smarm. Vaughn looks resigned and disgusted. And, yes, sensitive and pained. Yuck, yuck, yuck on Smarmbert!

SD-6. Marshall tells Sydney that since she'll be dressed to thrill -- oh God, not Marshall, please don't have him bring the ick -- maybe she'd want to wear the lovely simulated-pearl transmitter with her outfit. He's totally demented, like some kind of mad-scientist-cum-Barker's-Beauty. He urges Sydney to try it on. I get the feeling that Jennifer Garner and Carl Lumbly are trying not to laugh during these scenes. Totally sincere, he offers to model it himself, but then realizes that it wouldn't match his ensemble.

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Alias

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