Alias
Parity

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Spy Vs. Spy

Right before Ana and the case drop into the duct she rose out of, the alarms sound, and guards are just about to pour into the vault. Sydney tells Dixon to find out who's cutting their signal, and how. Cut to Ana sashaying out with the rest of the crowd. She tells her back-up in Spanish that she got the goods. Meanwhile, Dixon spots the van holding Ana's crew and rams it on the side. It tips.

Ana saunters. A guard stops her and asks to check her bag. Ana asks why. He tells her to just show him the contents of the bag. Ana says of course, and as he reaches for the bag, sucker-punches him. She runs. Vault Of No Return. The descrambler descrambles. Sydney escapes and drops through the vent.

The music's doing a good job here -- I actually feel tense! I feel it! Sydney sheds her shoes and runs down the hall. She yells to Dixon that she's going to try and cut Ana off. A lot of kids down at the forums felt that Sydney runs funny. It's true, but I'm wondering if that's because Sydney's trying to go at warp speed down a slick hallway in bare feet and a long, tight, dress with a big mane of hair. Also, I think SD-6 or the CIA should really get Sydney some special bras, because the bouncing can't be good for the breasteses.

Sydney runs onto the deck of a warehouse-looking type room. She looks down and sees Ana running across the floor, making for the exit. Sydney grabs a chain hanging from the ceiling and makes like Tarzan, hair and dress train flying, to hit Ana feet-first in the gut. Ow! Ow, ow, ow! Some well-done fighting ensues, although it's a little too balletic for my taste. Lots of leg-sweeps and axe-kicks. They really look like they're hitting each other. A chain and hammer get involved. Ana wins when she kicks the crap out of Sydney and Sydney tumbles down a short flight of stairs.

Sydney tells Dixon that Ana's heading out the back. She and Dixon meet up and watch as Ana scales the fire escape to the roof. Sydney demands Dixon's gun, and then, in an act of sharp-shooting that would do Annie Oakley proud, and which I do not buy for a second, shoots the strap so that the case falls off Ana's shoulder to the ground. I mean, she had to be at least fifteen to twenty feet away, it's night, and the bag-strap is black, not to mention so is Ana's vest. What. Ever. Close-up of Sydney's face and then Ana's as they exchange an Emperor-commends-Skywalker-on-his-training look.

Los Angeles. Sad Sack Sidekick Will shows up at Danny's apartment to pick up Danny's belongings from his former landlord. Wow. What a complete and total disconnect from the previous scene. Will notices that there's a traffic camera outside Danny's apartment and gets all Young Sherlock Holmes. And yes, I'm as shallow as a kiddie pool, but if Bradley Cooper's hair was not the color of a fluffy Easter chick and he shaved, I would find Will much less annoying. If that makes me wrong, I don't wanna be right.

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Alias

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