Alias
Parity

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Spy Vs. Spy

Will. Newspaper offices. He's on the phone, trying to track down the tape from the traffic camera outside Danny's apartment. His boss comes in and demands the mutated cabbage story. She asks how many words out of two thousand he's typed. He asks, "Counting the headline?" Lame! He couldn't fudge some kind of "I asked the research department for blah dee blah" excuse? And he calls himself a writer? Ha! Boss-lady snaps, "Will, don't make me regret hiring people in their twenties."

SD-6. Sydney's cell rings. Will calls with some lame joke about banking. Lame-o banter ensues. Will asks her if she wants to meet the gang for dinner; Sydney offers her place instead. Will says he has to get off the phone before he gets fired, "which is inevitable." Sydney says his name all significantly. Will asks what, and Sydney pusses out and says, "Nothing. It's just nice to be home."

Smarmbert. Sydney. Some back room in some warehouse in Somewheresville. Smarmbert smarms that it must've been -- he almost doesn't know how to say it -- devastating when Kenny was killed. Snerk. Is that some kind of weird South Park shout-out? It made me giggle. Sydney gets this look of horrified disbelief on her face, like Smarmbert cut a fart or something. He tells her he understands and empathizes. Sydney tells him civilly that his name was Danny. Smarmbert compliments her on her never-say-die spirit. Sydney asks what the meeting's about. Smarmbert lays on the smarm with a trowel and tells her he just wanted to get a little face time with his girl. Admirably, Sydney doesn't punch him. She also points out that SD-6 tracks their agents for suspect activity, and "to do me a favor -- don't be so friendly." Smarmbert says he loves her "spirit." He all but twirls his moustache and calls her a fine filly. Sydney snaps, "That's heartening. Are we done here?" She leaves. He watches her ass.

Sydney's Apartment Of Food, Folks And Fun. Hail, hail, the gang's all here. They're drinking margaritas and playing cards. Will tells a story about how he's so blind without his glasses that once he didn't notice three guys in his kitchen painting his walls. Sydney points out that he was naked. Non! Mais oui! Quelle horreur! Trés joli! Charlie, Francie's boyfriend, gets this weird, lascivious expression on his face and tells them how he cleans the house naked. I don't even want to think about the awkwardness of how he handles the vacuum. Francie is understandably embarrassed.

They play cards. Sydney calls Will's bluff. They all diss Will for being a bad poker player. Francie says she always knows when Will is bluffing, but she can never tell when Sydney is. Hurricane Foreshadowing is a-brewin', I tell ya. Will gets a phone call.

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Alias

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