Passage, Part I

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | 1 USERS: A-
If Music Be The Food Of Love

Ops Center Of Double Agents And The Fucked-Up Familial Relations That Plague Them. Syd's searching for naked pictures of Michael Vartan on the internet as Jack walks up and starts bitching at her about convincing her mother to go to Kashmir. Syd's all, yeah, I told her that if she didn't lead the team to the warheads, I would. "I handed those codes to SD-6," whines Syd, obviously plagued with guilt at possibly having handed dangerous weapons to a couple of seriously dangerous dudes. Jack's all, let it go, honey. You were just doing your job. Syd's all, don't even try it, Dad. I'm going and there's nothing you can do about it. Jack's all, there is NO way in HELL I'm going to let Irina Derevko near six nuclear weapons supervised by no one other than YOU. "Plane leaves in an hour," challenges Syd. And I swear to god, she looks JUST like Victor Garber when she says this. Maybe it's because she has her hair pulled back and therefore her ears are all sticky-outy like his, but her facial expression is EXACTLY like his -- stubborn, resolute and not about to take any crap off ANYONE.

A buzzer sounds, and we're watching Jack clip into Irina's cell with a small box. She turns with the speed of a drugged cobra and looks at his back as he bends over the box. He pulls out a necklace and says, "Obviously you can't maintain your cover if you're shackled. So there are two things you need to know about this necklace. One, it's layered with C-4. If you remove it while it's armed, you'll break the circuit and it will detonate. And two, if at any moment I believe you're attempting to escape or sabotage us, I'll activate this remote trigger... " He pulls back the sleeve of his jacket and shows her his watch. "...and blow your head off myself." Hee. He's all serious and grim and they are SO hot for each other.

The proximity of Victor Garber and Lena Olin is almost too much for me to take in this scene. They literally burn up the screen. Jack finishes his little necklace speech, and Mama Hari wordlessly pulls her heavy hair off her neck. Jack steps forward and fastens the necklace around her neck as she just looks at him. After he fastens it, thereby arming the device, he slowly pulls back, and it's pretty obvious that, before Lena Olin makes her final departure from this show, there will be some sort of sex or some sort of death exchanged between these two -- preferably both. Preferably in that order.

Kendall enters, doing what he does best: INTERRUPTING INTERESTING SEXUAL TENSION. As Vaughn, Syd, Jack, and Irina sniff the air for any remaining traces of decent plot development, Kendall details the upcoming operation. "All right, here's how this works. Derevko will detail your infiltration into the facility once you reach it. Until then, you have operational control." Jack nods. Kendall goes on to say that the unrest in Kashmir has caused Pakistan and India to seal their borders, so the Spy Family will board a train in New Delhi and then exit the train as it passes through the eastern tip of Kashmir. "Your gear will be planted in the baggage car," he finishes. Vaughn pipes up, "Once you're off the train, you'll rendezvous with the CIA contact, who will provide you with the op tech you'll need to infiltrate the facility." Syd's all, uh, how'd you clear all this with Sloane? Jack deadpans, "I took care of Sloane." How'd you do that, Jack? By cutting off Auntie Em's finger and sending it to Petty Officer Papa Don't Preach? Oops. I'm getting ahead of myself here.

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