Alias
Rendezvous

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The Paris Death Match

Lypsinka Light zeroes in on Khasinau, struts her way over to his table, works her magic with grandmama's ring, and picks up Khasinau's heartbeat. Elsewhere in the club, Dixon's chugging it over to Khasinau's office with his cell phone, which is informing him that he's about fifty percent away from nailing Khasinau's heartbeat.

At the same time, Willage is hanging out on a Paris street corner, reading the business section of Le Monde. A guy with a Russian accent comes up behind him, puts a gun to his head, and shoves Willage into a van. In the club, Dixon's got the heartbeat, communicates this to Syd, and heads to the vault. Syd removes herself from Khasinau's lap and returns to the stage, finishing her song with a flourish and another shot of her ample cleavage.

Dixon enters Khasinau's office, drops the guard there in three seconds, and bolts over to the office. Onstage, Syd watches as some guy comes up to Khasinau and says something about the informer from Los Angeles. She's about to leave the stage or start singing "Mighty Real" or something when she sees our beloved Willage being dragged around by one of Khasinau's men.

Back at the vault, Dixon's working on the lock. Back onstage, Syd screws with the microphone and informs the audience, in her trademark pathetic French, that she's having technical difficulties and she'll be back just as soon as they're fixed. She runs offstage. Dixon gets into the vault, grabs the pages, replaces them with fake ones, and tells Syd that he'll meet her out back in two minutes.

Down in a dingy men's latrine, Willage is strapped to a chair. One of Khasinau's men approaches him with a syringe. Willage is all, are you the guy I've been talking to and -- hey, what is that? Sodium pentathol? Cool! Bring it on! Woo! The tracers…

Spy Daddy's back in his car, listening in on the proceedings. Khasinau's guy wants to know how Willage found out about "The Circumference." Willage, currently experiencing the same sort of sensations that I felt at that rave party during junior year of college, just blinks his eyes and says he heard about it and could someone get him some grape Nehi or something? Or maybe some cotton candy? Or how about one of those little fluffy bunnies that come with these touch-me-feel-me books and wow…this room is BIG…is that Wonder Woman? I just love her.

Khasinau's guy wants a name. Spy Daddy listens intently. Willage tries to find his tongue, which at this point seems to be stapled to the roof of his mouth. Before he can provide Khasinau's guy with a name, Syd storms in and kicks some Khasinau henchman ASS. She looks down at Willage. Willage sloppily looks around the room in search of his fluffy bunny and makes his way to Syd. His response to her outfit is pretty much the same as mine: "AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"

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Alias

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