Alias
Rendezvous

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The Paris Death Match

Wendy Kroy: You know, that should really be a required scene in every episode.
Regina: I'm sayin'.
Wendy Kroy: Like, Willage should be at the newspaper, just sitting at his desk and, like, some random guy should enter and tell him to take off his clothes.
Regina: Oh, yeah. Bradley Cooper should do all of next season in his underwear.
Wendy Kroy: Do you think they'll do that? Can they do that?
Regina: They can if they bring me on as a costume consultant.
Wendy Kroy: Oh, totally. Can I be your assistant?
Regina: Of course, sweetie.
Wendy Kroy: Can I be Bradley Cooper's dresser?
Regina: Don't press your luck.

French Guy shuts the door as Sydney looks on. He tells Willage to pay attention. Willage starts taking off his clothes as French Guy gives Willage his new identity information. I'd like to state, for the record, that I have no idea what information French Guy gave Willage, because I was far too interested in freeze-framing Bradley Cooper in his underwear. Who gives a damn about Willage's new identity? Not me. Pause. Rewind. Play. Heh. Heh heh. Nice boxers, Bradley. Pause. Rewind. Play. Freeze. Sigh.

Right. So, outside The Room Of Half-Naked Bradley, Syd's bitching at Spy Daddy about bringing Willage into this whole mess. Spy Daddy's all, look, sister, I've been consistently saving this moron's ass, okay? Don't give me any more grief than I've already received, all right? Pause. Rewind. Play. Freeze. Sigh. Excuse me. Uh. Anyway. Spy Daddy fills Syd in on the whole Deep Throat thing and how someone from inside the CIA or SD-6 is onto them. Syd's all, dude? No one from intelligence was inside that club tonight. The people who were interrogating Willage were Khasinau's, okay? Spy Daddy thinks about this for all of two seconds and comes to the conclusion that Khasinau wants to bring down SD-6. Since he failed with Shovelhead, he turned to Willage and the press. Syd's all, this doesn't change the fact that you were using Will! Spy Daddy's all, oh, what-EVER. He was already being used, okay? And, like, could we just end this conversation and get on with the rest of the damn show already? This is like watching my grandmother paint the basement -- it's boring, goes on for far too long, and has no purpose.

Spy Daddy ends his exposition dance with the statement that, for some reason, Khasinau is trying to expose both he and Sydney. Just then, the door to Bradley Cooper's dressing room opens. French Guy exits with a man who vaguely resembles one of the Beastie Boys in the "Sabotage" video. Oh, sorry. It's just Willage in a hideous black shag wig and a circa-1970s disco shirt.

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Alias

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