Alias
Alias

Episode Report Card
Erin: B | 1524 USERS: B-
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One down, one to go

Minutes later, Sloane gets off the phone and says that The Twelve are convening. Peyton says they should get going. Sark says that perhaps they should reconsider their plans for the prisoners. Aw! See? There's that kidney-bean-sized heart again! "Don't tell me you're getting sentimental," quips Peyton. "Or do you just have a thing for blondes?" Sark gets this awesome look on his face like, "I do. But I also have a thing for brunettes. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean I have a thing for you. And I never will. Don't cry. It's not personal. It's just business." Heh. Sark says it seems unnecessary and Sloane says it isn't open for discussion. Man, he really has turned fully to the dark side. "Eliminate them," he says, and walks off.

A henchman with a neck the size of a Ford pickup truck enters Rachel and Marshall's room, and Marsh immediately knows their number is up. He babbles about his wife and Mitchell and how he wants another child, maybe a girl, and the henchman just lifts his gun and cocks it. Rachel's up in a flash, hitting him in the neck, grabbing his gun and turning it back on him, shooting him three times in the chest. Heh. "Oh my god!" gasps Marshall. "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen! That was Empire Strikes Back cool!" Hee. Also, I'm totally taking that as a shout-out because it's my favorite film of the series and, even though I've never mentioned that here, I'd like to think that, as crack-addled as they sometimes are, the writers and I are connected telepathically. Feel the love. Rachel unlocks them both and they run down a hallway, only to meet Syd and Getty, who seem to have jumped into a pneumatic tube and arrived in Mexico thirty seconds before they left. Or something. Time travel! It's what's for dinner.

Syd hollers at them both to get down and then she shoots the shit out of some henchmen. Marshall hugs her and Getty helps up Rachel, who doesn't give him a hug, but a look of gratitude. Show him your boobs, Rachel! Come on! Man's about to DIE! Dix and Vaughn, also having traveled via pneumatic tube, arrive on the scene and inform everyone that Sloane has left the building. He's probably traveling via TARDIS to central Italy.

Alias

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