Alias
Reunion

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Erin: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

Or Syd just says she doesn't hate Mrs. Elephant. And Carol Kane, as the little old witch from The Princess Bride, jumps out from behind a chair and goes, "Liaaaaaarrrrr! Liar! Liar! Liar!" Vaughn enters, kicks the witch out of the way, and swaggers over to his women. Vaughn does all sorts of wrong things to your average long-sleeved black t-shirt as he informs the girls about some intel involving Sark. All the intel winds up meaning is that, if Sensei Sloane doesn't help them out, Sark will get to Medusa before they do.

Sensei's Solemn Sanctuary of Sinister Sons of Bitches. Sensei's all, oops. Too bad. Can't help you kids out on this one. Mrs. Elephant tries to get Sensei to add Syd and Vaughn's names to the list of guests attending some trumped-up benefit of utter convenience that night so that they can get into the bunker underneath the Science Ministry. Sloane's all, yeah, not so much, sweetie. I'm a big and powerful nice guy now; if I let you in there and you screw stuff up, my cred with the big boys could be blown. Sensei goes over to the Credenza of Mysteriously Necessary Items and pours himself a drink of water. You guys want any? Oh. Wait. You can't have any. BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE GLASS HERE. Like, how inhospitable is that? He's not very accommodating for a sensei. Sensei waxes philanthropic about how much his organization helps people. Syd rolls her eyes so hard I'm surprised they don't pop out, roll across the floor, and start whapping against Sensei's buzz-cut head. Then Syd just blatantly threatens Sensei with bodily harm as he snidely grins at her. "I've missed you, Sydney," he smarms. "I really have. I'm just so glad there's no one else on the planet who can help you out in these kinds of situations. We'll get to see so much more of each other. Hell, we'll probably see each other even more than we did when we worked together! Won't that be great?" Or he just agrees to add Syd and Vaughn's names to the list. Mrs. Elephant gets up to leave and tells Sloane to call them within the hour. Sloane then smarms something to Vaughn about how close he and Syd used to be and how relieved Vaughn must be to have her back. Mrs. Elephant looks pained, Vaughn triples his forehead wrinkle count, and Syd just glares. They all leave as Sloane delivers one of his trademark evil smiles. It's SO blatantly evil that I totally thought he was going to break out with a Gary-Oldman-as-Dracula-esque "Moooo-whaaa ha ha ha ha ha!" If Sloane's turned over a new leaf, then I'm the next Mrs. Josh Lucas.

Moscow. Yeah. Make up your own quippy location humor. Vaughn's trying to tie his tuxedo tie and having problems with it. Here. Let me help you with that, Vaughn. What do you mean you need your pants? No, you don't! Shhh. Not so much with the talking. Mrs. Elephant comes in and ties Vaughn's tie for him, and then they engage in a totally useless little back and forth about their third date. He's cute, she's cute, and it's still totally useless. WE GET IT. THEY REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER. BECAUSE THEY HAVE SHARED STORIES. AND SHE CAN TIE HIS TIES. WE GET IT.

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Alias

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