Previously on Alias: Captain Cuckoo went batty, Spy Mommy was sentenced to death, and Syd found out that not only did Spy Daddy rig the explosives, but he also trained her to be a mini-spy. Then she cried about it on Vaughn's shoulder. And we all sighed with unrequited lurve lust.
Parking Garage Rooftop Of Unrequited Lurve Lust And Slightly Embarrassing Mornings After. Virtuous Vaughn and Still Sad Sydney are hanging out on some random garage roof, both sporting sunglasses previously worn by Neo and Trinity, respectively. Vaughn tells Syd that her mother's trial starts tomorrow. Syd, whose hair is pulled back into a French twist that's so tight it looks like her forehead's actually pinned to her skull with industrial ¾" Stanley staples, wonders aloud how long the trial will take. Vaughn surmises that, due to the eighty-six counts of espionage against Spy Mommy, the trial will probably take for-freaking-ever.
Syd is particularly moody today. She turns and demands to see the opening arguments. Vaughn -- convinced that every little thing he does, even if it's just to make it possible for Syd to watch her mother get sentenced to death, will allow him access to the downy glory that is Syd's inner thighs -- informs her that he'll arrange for a closed circuit feed into the Ops Center. This pleases Princess Penumbra, and she totters over to him on her spiky-yet-classy three-inch-heels. Showing that she's still just the girl next door, Syd sort of slumps down next to Vaughn and whiningly demands that he tell her a joke because, in her current Poe-ian state of mind, she could sure use one. Captain Comedian willingly obliges her with the strategic use of the infamous "Grasshopper Named Doug/Phil" joke that pretty much went out with Pop Rocks and whoopee cushions.
Silly Syd beats Merriment Michael to the punch line, but his hard humor work is rewarded by one of Jennifer Garner's stellar smiles. They both half-heartedly giggle at the lame joke, and Syd looks at Vaughn with the light of love shining in her eyes. Or, I mean, it would be if she weren't hiding behind those Foster Grants. (By the way, I actually inadvertently typed "ears" there instead of "eyes," and that set off a giggle-fest that, for some reason, I felt compelled to tell y'all about; because, like, how funny is it to have ANY light shining in Syd's ears, let alone the LIGHT OF LOVE? Tee hee.)
Conference Room Of Endless Expositions. Sloane's filling in the troops about Sark's activities; namely, he's been working on the development of a bio-weapon synthesized from a heretofore unseen virus. Sloane changes the picture on the screen to show Klaus Richter, the dude that Spy Daddy fed extra doses of morphine to in exchange for the whereabouts of the map to The Bible location. Yeah. I'm out of breath just TYPING that sentence.
Right, so Richter's been exposed to the virus. Commander Cup Runneth Over With Craziness nods at Inspector Dingus to explain about the virus. Dingus brings up a screen shot detailing normal flu antibodies. In comparison, Richter's blood work shows antibodies a thousand percent above normal levels, very similar to the Ebola virus. Only difference? This virus seems to be intent on breaking down bonds between cells. So, Inspector Dingus excitedly blabbles, in a couple of days Richter's body is gonna resemble that inside-out baboon in David Cronenberg's exceedingly disgusting remake of The Fly.