Ibiza. We're at some really raunchy party where some song about licking someone's ass is playing. I don't know who it is. You can feel free to tell me, if you're so inclined. But honestly, I don't really care. Vaughn and Syd enter and they're all sexy and swingy and flirty. Vaughn spies Jonski at the bar and then asks Syd how they want to play this. "You wanna be rough or you want me to be rough?" she asks. "Oh, you're always rough," he says. "No, I'm not!" she says, giggling. "Oh, yes you are!" he says back. "That's not true!" she giggles. "Yes it is," he says. "Are you talking about at home or on the ops?" she asks, suddenly concerned. "Both," he says, smiling. She gives him this look like, duuuuuude! "Hey, I'm not complaining," he sexes up at her. Heh. "If I'm rough, it's because you like it when I'm --" All of a sudden, Sydney stops and looks around. "Are we on comms?" Beep! "Yes," snits Jack, "you're both. On comms. Right now." HEEEEEEEEEE. Oh, man. OH, MAN. This is worse than your dad accidentally picking up the other extension and hearing you on the tail end of telling your college boyfriend that you want to empty a can of whipped cream on his crotch and lick it off. Or, you know, it's about the same level of awfulness.
Syd laughs out loud and then puts her hand over her mouth and Vaughn's expression is all, oh, yeah, we just totally talked about our rough sex IN FRONT OF YOUR FATHER, ha! "We'll both be rough," says Syd, stepping into spy girl mode. Syd jerks Vaughn over to the bar and Marshall, back with Jack, attempts to not giggle and drool all over his laptop. Jack just looks like he's had a jar of salsa stuck up his left nostril. Hee! Back at the bar, Jonski's just hanging out when Syd throws Vaughn up against the bar and they start mackin'. Jonski watches with interest. His interest, erm, grows, as soon as he hears Syd say, "Bite me!" Vaughn complies, and Syd looks like she really and truly enjoys it. Vaughn hauls her back out to the dance floor, but not before she can grab one of Jonski's ice cubes and run it all over her neck sexily. Jonski likey.
Out on the floor, Vaughn takes a seat on a low sofa and Syd straddles him as Jonski watches. "Want me to bite you again?" says Vaughn with his mouth full of Syd's lips. Hee. "Shut up," laughs Syd, with her mouth full of Vaughn's lips. Hee. Syd catches Jonski's eye and makes the "come on over here, handsome" gesture with her finger. Jonski likey some more. He walks on over as Syd and Vaughn continue to make out. "Bon soir," says Jonski. "You're enjoying yourselves?" "He's French," says Syd. No, Syd. He's Russian. Didn't you read the first recap? Fine. He's French. I don't care. WHERE IS LENA? "I like the French," drawls Syd. "They're tender." Vaughn looks up and says, "Fine," in this dismissive "whatever-the-hell-you-want" tone. Heh. Syd's all, you gonna watch all night or you gonna get involved? Jonski's all, what'd you have in mind?
Wham! Syd slams Jonski against the men's room wall and tells Vaughn to check the stalls. Syd throws Jonski around a bit more, and Jonski definitely likey, but he no likey when Syd takey his PDA and smacky him around for real. Vaughn transmits the data to Marshall as Syd keeps Jonski in check. The PDA's encrypted, so while Marshall hacks into it, Syd asks Jonski what he knows about Irina Derevko. He plays stupid. Syd plays the "I know who you've betrayed" card, but Jonski ain't playin'. "It's the end of the world, or haven't you heard?" he quips. "Blackmail is not as effective as it once was." Syd slams his head into a stall door. Heh. Jack finds a mention of "Helix" in Jonski's files. "Tell me what you know about the Helix Protocol," says Syd, dunking Jonski's head into the toilet. When she pulls him back up, he's all, dude? Didn't you read my file? This ain't torture as much as it's…candy to a baby. BRING IT ON! Heh. Syd practically drowns the guy until he finally says he'll talk. He tells Syd that Elena wanted people to believe that Irina was dead, so a Rambaldi follower agreed to go through Helix in order to become Irina's clone and basically offered themselves up to die. Syd's all, the huh? Jonski's all, you have no idea what we whack-ass-crazy Rambaldi followers are willing to do for the cause of the endgame. Now dunk me again, pretty lady! "Is. Irina. Derevko. ALIVE?" spits Syd. "Of course she is," hisses Jonski through his toilet-stained laughter. Syd practically passes out from the news.