Alias
Second Double

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Erin: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Double Your Francie, Double Your Fun

Vaughn pulls out the digital camera, and Syd Vicious starts making with the blackmail poses. Jurgens claims he didn't know the second double and that he just built the machine for Clone Doc. Basically, Jurgens just gives up that Clone Doc needed a huge-ass server farm to put out the kind of power needed to clone a human. That's it. That's all he tells them. Doesn't know which server farm, doesn't know where, doesn't know who the second double is. Nothing. Syd and Vaughn finally realize he's a lost cause, drop the digital storage card on the table, and bolt.

And now we come to one of my favorite scenes in the entire finale.

Oops Center. Kendall's fucking around with a computer. Probably trying to find the back button on his browser. Moron. Jack walks up, and he's all, please explain this Tippin transfer order, you pinhead. Kendall's all, Tippin's the clone and he's dangerous, you megalomaniac. Jack's all, dude, unrestricted interrogation is SO not good right now. Oh, and your fly's open. Kendall's all, nice try, fuckface. But the Justice Department is on my side, not yours. Tippin's a threat, and JD wants to be consulted on our every move from now on. "What did you think, Jack?" he sneers. "That I just forged a transfer order on CIA letterhead?" "Actually, yes," says Jack. "Yes, I did. But the fact that you didn't use purple crayon this time kind of threw me off. You went behind my back." "That's hardly unheard of in this office," snits Kendall in a rather girly fashion.

Wendy Kroy: Catfight!
Regina: Scratch her eyes out!
Rona: Pull her hair!
Regina: Get that bitch!
Wendy Kroy: Hee!

"So, what, was this retribution for me taking your parking space?" snaps Jack. Hee. He kind of spits out that "parking space" and you totally know some saliva whapped onto Kendall's chin. Heh. Kendall just breathes heavily out of his nostrils and claims that he did what his job compelled him to do. "Nothing more, nothing less," he grits. "And if you can't see that I'm trying to protect the lives of everyone in this operations center then I overestimated your intelligence." He walks off, leaving Jack to wonder if he could be sent to prison for pantsing a high-level member of the CIA.

Will's Great Escape. This scene rocked and everything, but it's hardly worth recapping. Suffice it to say that Will's being transferred, Dix is a member of the convoy, Will's on a big Fugitive bus, and Bradley Cooper looks adorable even in prison garb. There are shots, the bus rolls over, blam blam and more blam blam and confusion and lots of dead FBI officers and dead enemies and we were all really surprised at how many people wound up dead. Much more than usual.

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Alias

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