Wendy Kroy: I resent that.
Regina: Resent what?
Wendy Kroy: The "poncey little fruit" comment.
Regina: Why on EARTH would you resent that?
Wendy Kroy: Because Will is neither poncey nor a fruit.
Regina: No. No, he isn't. But YOU are.
Wendy Kroy: Yes. And THAT is what I resent. Goddammit.
Berlin. We've been here before, and I believe I used up all my funny the last time. Elevator doors open, and Vaughn and Syd are standing outside, pretending to be Neo and Trinity. But -- and, um, no offense to Michael Vartan or Jennifer Garner here, seriously -- they are NO Keanu Reeves and Carrie Anne Moss. And yes, I will be waiting in line for the premiere. Because I am an ASS.
On the elevator, the totally useless generic German contact guy and Syd engage in a little code conference and obviously clear each other. German Guy is all, yeah, so we tracked this Jurgens dude to a sex club. Syd audibly sighs and announces that she thinks they should move in on Jurgens right now. Vaughn gets this slightly lascivious twist to his mouth. Hee. Syd's all, what? Vaughn's all, uh, nothin'! I'm not picturing you in latex or anything. Not me. Nuh-uh.
Marilyn Manson's Living Room. All the German Sex Kittens are present and accounted for, including Jurgens himself. Vaughn, not dressed in leather or latex or anything remotely resembling a fetishist's wardrobe, watches Jurgens from the other end of the bar. Finally, Syd enters, sporting a red leather number that does no favors to her curvy hips or her rather masculine shoulders. Again, not that Jennifer Garner's not a pretty girl or anything, just...the S&M look isn't so good on her.
Rona: She looks like a drag queen.
Wendy Kroy: She looks like a BAD drag queen.
Regina: Hey, I think she IS a bad drag queen!
Syd Vicious makes her way over to Vaughn, and he tartly says, "I'm glad I'm not the one in leather." "You'd look cute in a teddy," says Syd, and you just know that if they didn't have to nab this Jurgens dude, they'd TOTALLY be getting it on in one of the sex rooms upstairs. Vaughn points out Jurgens and his security team; Syd takes a gulp of water and crunches down HARD on a piece of ice. It's actually really damn funny. Like she's just, Oh, fuck it. Let's get this over with. CRRRRUNCH. Hee.
Syd Vicious delivers her best impersonation of a German dominatrix, and Jurgens totally takes the bait. Upstairs in one of the sex rooms, Syd whips him hard across the ass, primarily because he's wearing the most hideous silk leopard print boxers I've ever seen in my life. Then, Vaughn enters, and Syd turns. "Hello, honey!" she smiles. "Hello, dear!" says Vaughn sweetly. Hee.