Alias
Snowman

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Bucky the Snowman

Previously on Alias: Syd got laid. That is all.

Yeah, okay, that's not REALLY all. But I don't really care about anything else. The search for Spy Momsky? Yawn. Spy Daddy's spiral down into afternoon scotches? Bleah. Sloane's continuing bizarre relationship with Sydney? What. Ever. It's really all about the sex, people. Never forget that. It'll help you quite a bit as you trip lightly down this path we call "life."

We open on a lingering shot of Syd's naked calf. Ahhh, post-coital bliss. How I miss it so. Actually, I don't miss it as much as I'VE NEVER HAD IT. Wow. I can already see where this recap is leading and I'm not sure if I like it. Looks like I'll be printing this baby out for use in my next therapy session. Maybe I can divert the payments I receive for recapping directly to Dr. Fishcakes. If nothing else, maybe I can write off my therapy sessions as "creative expenditure." Maybe I should just shut up and take the VCR off pause.

Syd's snoozing away after a night of good lovin'. Bucky McBuckerton stealthily slaps his hand over her mouth and informs her that Kasineau's men have found them. Indeed, Kasineau's men pull up in a Hummer and surround the not-so-safe house. Seconds later, they burst in, guns a-blazin', just as Syd and Rabbit Face slip down a hidden passageway.

As Kasineau's Kops scramble around inside the not-so-safe house, Syd and Gums McOverbite burst out of yet another hidden passageway into a hay-strewn barn. They're both fully dressed in disco black flak outfits that were obviously stored in the "Hidden Passageway Spy Chic Boutique." This entire scene is so bloody dark that I have to turn the brightness on my teeny Samsung TV up to fifty, making it look like everything's happening in the middle of a Siberian snowstorm. I am not amused.

Dr. Dental whips the cover off a motorcycle, and he and Syd throw on a couple of slick black helmets. Syd gets on her helmet-phone (hee) and informs someone on the other end that this is "White Rabbit" which, if you're me, elicits gusts of giggles because I've now started to actually SEE Peter Berg as a giant mush-mouthed rabbit of Harvey-esque proportions. It's actually Syd's code name or something and she tells the person on the other end that there's been a change of plans and she needs an exit in thirty minutes.

Syd grabs the core she picked up in the last ep. One of the Kops enters the barn and Bunny Face shoots him. He and Syd zoom the motorcycle out of the barn and into the night. Syd handles the driving as Bunny Face handles the Kop killing. The Kops chase them as Syd tells the extraction team that they need to get the HELL outta there, like, NOW.

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Alias

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