Alias
So It Begins

Episode Report Card
Manimal: D+ | 1 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Been Around The World (tm Lisa Stansfield)

Below, at The Indoor Swimming Pool Party Of Swankiness, Dixon, dressed as Nabor, meets with Russian Baddies. They wonder at him not having a bodyguard in a menacing way. Meanwhile, upstairs, Sydney whips off her glasses to reveal that they are lock-picks and struggles with the suitcase. More menacing of Dixon by Russian Baddies below. They ask him if he has the money, but Dixon says the money is close.

Sydney gets the suitcase open just as another bodyguard enters. They fight. This fight scene is actually okay, since the cameras aren't crammed up the actors' noses for part of it. She knocks the bodyguard out. The real Nabor enters the room, and Sydney apologizes in Russian, touching him on the shoulder with her ring. He passes out. She turns and looks at the suitcase full o' dough, which is a dummy suitcase -- only the top level was money, the rest was paper. Wow, just like Shallow Grave! And, I'm sure, countless other movies.

Sydney telegraphs to Dixon what just happened. Dixon mutters, "Fabulous." The Russian Baddies look at him. Dixon grins, "Uhh...vodka!" Man, that was weak. The Russian Baddies think so, too. How the hell was Dixon able to concentrate while all that ass-whupping and talking was going on in his ear? Does he have an off switch? How does he know when to turn it on? Inquiring minds want to know!

Sydney whips off her maid's uniform to reveal her inner hootchie. She's wearing a light-blue latex tank dress. It makes her look like a very tall transvestite hooker, which is probably the point. She looks better when the blonde hair is up. She tells Dixon not to panic, that she'll be there in two minutes.

CIA. Vaughn. Extreme close-up of him turning a gigantic Kennedy half-dollar over in his fingers. Sean from Felicity makes another guest appearance. For some reason, seeing Sean makes me extremely happy, like when you're stuck at an awful party and you see someone halfway normal that you usually have nothing to say to, but in that context he looks like a goddamned lifeline. Sean asks if he's heard from Sydney yet. Vaughn looks worried and says he doesn't expect to hear from her until she's back. Beat. Sean: "Your girlfriend's name is Alice, right?" Vaughn: "Will you shut up?" Sean: "I'm just checking." Vaughn: "Get out of my office!" Oh, ALL RIGHT -- haw! That was funny. Why don't those two get a show?

Sydney. Indoor pool party. God, that dress is horrible, horrible, horrible. She tells Dixon she's in the bar. She and Dixon do some signaling-across-the-room stuff that my friends and I used to do back when we cheated on Civics tests in the seventh grade. Sydney tells him to get ready to make a switch.

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Alias

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