South China Sea. A speedboat approaches an oil rig as "I Like The Way You Move" by the Bodyrockers disco dances across the soundtrack. The boat stops, and Rachel emerges from the cabin wearing a dress the size of a handkerchief, a fake leopard fur coat, a ridiculous orangey-blonde wig, oversized shades, and a pair of hoochie-mama stacked heels. In short, Rachel looks like a ho. She also looks like Traci Lords, who, for the first part of her career, also looked like a ho. Being a ho was the first part of Traci's career, though, so looking like a ho is allowed. Also? Traci Lords rocks. I wouldn't consider myself a porn aficionado or anything, but if you haven't seen any of Traci's early films, I suggest you head over to eBay right-the-hell-now and do some bidding. What? Chicks watch porn. They just get bored with it really, really quickly. I mean, how many scenes with plumbers who've forgotten their pants and women wearing tear-away dresses can one person stand?
So, Rachel and her bad ho self get up on the oil rig. We pause before heading to her assignment so that we can flash back to Rachel getting ready for her ho gig. She tells Syd that it's a mistake and that she's never done anything like this. Syd says she's playing a character. "Who was the sluttiest girl in your high school?" "Mandy Camarillo," says Rachel without even pausing. Heh. "You didn't have to think very hard on that one," quips Syd. Rachel says that Mandy was a tramp who stole Rachel's prom date. Syd tells Rachel to act like she's Mandy Camarillo and Vak is her prom date. Rachel still looks nervous, so Syd tells her that she'll be on comms the whole time. "The way Vaughn was for me," she says. I think equating Syd to Vaughn is totally the writers setting up the foundation for some serious HoYay in future episodes, jilting prom date or no. Rachel finally states that she can do this and Syd says she absolutely can.
We return to the present and Rachel on ho assignment. A guard leads Rachel to Vak's chambers, and another guard unlocks the door and lets her in. Rachel heads to Vak's bedroom and opens the door. Vak's inside, and he's totally nasty. Rachel plays her part well and they banter back and forth about speaking English. "I am Janos," he says, kissing her hand. "Ray-- Mandy," flubs Rachel. Syd rolls her eyes so far up into her skull, she can see her cerebral cortex. "Raymandy," says Janos. "Beautiful name." Heh. Vak tries to get Rachel to come over to the bed, but she nervously says she's just fine over by the computer. Syd gets on comms and tells Rachel to think about what Mandy would do. "Do you know how to make daiquiris?" Rachel asks. Whuh? Vak says he has champagne and Rachel's like, THAT WILL BE FINE THANK YOU. Heh. She's really not good at this.