Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 1 USERS: B
Dude Looks Like A Lady -- A Ho-Type Lady

Rachel backs up and hauls off with some half-assed spinning kick and Getty drops her easily. "Don't ever do that spinning kung fu crap," he says. "You'll get yourself killed." Rachel's like, fine then! What SHOULD I do? "For real?" he says. "I fight dirty." Heh. I bet you do. "Dirty?" asks Rachel. "Go for the eyes, the nose, the throat, the nuts--" "THE NUTS?" "--inflict as much pain as is humanly possible." Rachel says she doesn't think she can do that, and Getty goes off on her, telling her she shouldn't be here if she can't handle it and everyone's taking care of her and if she can't pull her weight then she should just pack up her playthings and go home to mom-- WHAM! Rachel clocks Getty with a tight right hook. Heh. "That was better," he grits. "I wanna see more of that." Hee. This scene is awesome. Just then, Getty's phone rings and he's told that they have a briefing in fifteen minutes.

Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Syd tells everyone about Élodie's interaction with the Algerian arms dealer and then says that Vak has indeed designed the lassoing program, so it's no longer a rumor, it's a fact. Oh, and Vak has sold it to some dude in China. Sloane asks where Vak is, and Syd says he's dropped off the face of the planet. Jack says that this is why they're going to go after the Chinese official. He's at the Chinese consulate in Bombay because he's marrying an Indian woman and Bombay officials are throwing them an engagement party and she has two sisters and one of them has a leg made of pansies and there are crocodiles in the sewers and seriously, how did they come up with this bizarro storyline? It's not bad or anything, I'm just totally baffled as to how they came up with the Chinese official-marrying-the-Indian-woman-and-hey-they're-in-Bombay angle. Very weird.

Dix says that the official keeps an encrypted copy of all his contacts and meets in a safe in his room, and that this should lead them to Vak. Jack directs Sydney to steal the intel, Dix and Getty to offer support, and Marshall and Rachel to run op-tech. We jet off to Disney Backlot #45 where a bunch of extras are pretending to be in Bombay. Syd's dressed up in a lovely green sari with matching bindi and Getty's escorting her through the party. Dix enters wearing a tux with a printed scarf around his neck. The three of them meet up and Dix says that the Chinese dude is still upstairs in his office. "Doesn't the man know it's kind of hard to break into a safe when he's sitting right in front of it?" quips Getty. Heh. He gets all the good lines in this episode.

Syd sees the Chinese general's fiancée over by the stairs, and she looks very unhappy. Syd thinks the general might be having second thoughts and probably isn't coming down tonight. They're going to have to get the intel another way. She checks in with Marshall and Rachel and asks what's going on upstairs. Marshall informs her that it's quiet and that there's just one guard outside the general's door. Syd then shares a moment with Dixon when she asks him if he remembers the King of Bahrain. "The one with the harem?" asks Dix. "Let's try that," says Syd. "What're you talking about?" asks Getty. "I'll need your watch," says Syd to Dix, ignoring Getty. "It's okay," snits Getty, "I'm not really here." Hee. Dix turns to Getty and says, "Just follow my lead," and they walk off.

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