Corridor of Daddy/Daughter Conflicts. Syd is dressing down her father for sending Rachel. Jack's like, uh, I don't remember anyone appointing you the director of the Apple Store, so shut your pie hole. Syd's all, hey, am I the only one who remembers that whole part where RACHEL RAN AWAY? Jack's all, honey, I love you, but unless Vak has a pregnant woman fetish, I don't really think you can do this particular assignment. Deal with it. He then goes on to say that Rachel going out to the oil rig is no different than when Syd had to go back into SD-6. Yeah, I don't see the parallels, but whatever. Syd agrees with me, because she says it's totally different -- she had Vaughn. "And Rachel will have you," says Jack. Again, don't really see the similarities, but I guess they had to come up with some way to get Jennifer Garner to sit out an assignment.
Marshall's Garage of Geekiness. Marshall gives Rachel a lipstick that's supposed to knock out Vak for two hours after she touches it anywhere on his skin. Oh, and he spring-loaded an ice pick into the base of a brush, you know, just in case. That Marshall. He's so handy. Later, Rachel's at her locker, getting ready to go, when Dixon enters and asks her if she's all set. She comments that she's been spending hours at the firing range, only to be sent on an assignment where she's not allowed to be armed. Dix tries to bolster her confidence by saying that Jack wouldn't be sending her on the mission if he didn't have complete faith in her abilities. Rachel just says that she appreciates Dix saying that, but she knows that everyone's looking for her to prove herself on this mission, especially since she bolted like a jackrabbit during the last one. "I'm terrified," she says. "But I'm more terrified of not trying. So, I'm going to put on my strappy shoes and my teeny dress and I'm going to try. And by this time tomorrow, we'll know whether I can do it or not." It's a nice moment and it's well delivered by Nichols. Damn. I'm liking her more and more. How'd THAT happen?
Parking Garage of Gordo's Insecurities. Sloane drives up and rolls down his window. He hands Gordo a file with Vak's location and details and then tells him that Rachel's going in to get the software. Gordo's stunned. Sloane says that once Rachel gets the software, he'll swap it out and hand over the real program to Gordo. He peels out, and Peyton walks up and says, "Did he just say they're sending Rachel?" Oh, and I know she has a first name (it's "Kelly," if you must know) but I like "Peyton" better because..."Kelly" is awfully pedestrian for someone as wicked as Amy Acker. Gordo says he doesn't trust Sloane and they're not going to wait for him to hand over the program; he wants Peyton to get the weapon herself. She thinks it'll be strange if she and Rachel cross paths. "She thought I was her best friend," she says. Gordo just says that if she runs into Rachel while on the assignment, he should put a bullet in her head. Wow. He must give a seriously damaging exit interview to anyone who quits his employ.
South China Sea. A speedboat approaches an oil rig as "I Like The Way You Move" by the Bodyrockers disco dances across the soundtrack. The boat stops, and Rachel emerges from the cabin wearing a dress the size of a handkerchief, a fake leopard fur coat, a ridiculous orangey-blonde wig, oversized shades, and a pair of hoochie-mama stacked heels. In short, Rachel looks like a ho. She also looks like Traci Lords, who, for the first part of her career, also looked like a ho. Being a ho was the first part of Traci's career, though, so looking like a ho is allowed. Also? Traci Lords rocks. I wouldn't consider myself a porn aficionado or anything, but if you haven't seen any of Traci's early films, I suggest you head over to eBay right-the-hell-now and do some bidding. What? Chicks watch porn. They just get bored with it really, really quickly. I mean, how many scenes with plumbers who've forgotten their pants and women wearing tear-away dresses can one person stand?