Alias
Succession

Episode Report Card
Erin: C- | Grade It Now!
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Sharon! This episode sucked!

Lonely Platform of Father-Daughter Relations. Jack's trying to justify his Lazarey-announcing actions to his daughter. He's all, dude. The CIA would have discovered the link between Sark and Lazarey on their own, okay? Without that tape I have of you slitting Lazarey's throat, the CIA has no way of connecting you to him or his death. Syd's all, this CAN'T be a coincidence, okay? I'm responsible for Lazarey's death, and nine months later, the Covenant gets Sark released in exchange for his $800 million dollar inheritance? It's looking more likely that they're responsible for your two-year absence, agrees Jack. "Be it under duress, or by some other unknown means, they compelled you to carry out the assassination," Jack says. Syd accepts this. "I'm scheduled to contact your mother tonight," says Jack. "Hopefully, she'll be some help." We switch quickly to a sedan in a parking garage. We don't see who's in it, but just as quickly, we switch to an AOL message screen.

"DISTINGUISHED COMPOSER LOOKING FOR MUSIC LOVER" appears in the message area. Jack, who we now know is in the driver's side of the sedan, quickly puts on his earphone thing as he sees that Handel_4me wants to chat privately. And here, for the rabid, is the whole AOL chat, without the horrific computerized Irina voice:

Handel_4me: Couldn't believe it when I saw your ad in the London Globe.
Mozart_182: Glad you're alive.
Handel_4me: You should have known better.
Mozart_182: Our daughter is alive.
Handel_4me: My God. How is she?
Mozart_182: Recovering, though she doesn't remember the last two years. Need your help getting background on a man named Andrean Lazarey.
Handel_4me: Will upload all intel to our FTP drop site. Miss you.
Mozart_182: Miss you, too.

Frankfurt. Land of trade fairs, airport terminals, and the Bundesbank. It's club time at Alias. Syd enters, looking all brainy Goth and such. Full-on thigh-length black jacket, almost ankle-length skirt, cheekbone-skimming black bobbed hair. Syd stalks through the club and comes upon a little rest area, with a guard holding court over it. The guard frisks her and comes upon her PDA. "It's for him," Syd purrs. The blond drug man, reclining on the sofa in the distance, beckons her forth. The guard gives Syd back her PDA and lets her enter the sanctum sanctorum of Blond Drug Man.

"You're very attractive…for a chemist," says Blond Drug Man. "Thank you for meeting with me," says Syd. Blond Drug Man's all, well, I'm all open to conversation and shit, but I highly doubt you can improve on my little cocktail. Syd's all, I can triple your sales. Blond Drug Man's all, how then, liebsten? Syd's all, by making it more addictive. Then she presses a button on her PDA and shoves it at Blond Drug Man. He takes the PDA and seems interested in it, but Syd seems to think that a good glimpse at her Victoria Secreted torso is more interesting, and compels him to take a look at THAT and not at the PDA. Blond Drug Man does so, and we go to commercial.

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Alias

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