Alias
Succession

Episode Report Card
Erin: C- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Sharon! This episode sucked!

More shooting. More people dead. The chopper goes down. Syd sees the head Covenant guy get into his car and drive toward Sark and the CIA dude. He peels around and orders both Sark and CIA dude to get into the car. They do. As everyone keeps shooting at them, Syd lamely runs after the car and stops, seeing them peel off into the distance. She's pissed. There's no two ways about it.

Um, I'm sorry. Were the cars out of gas? Were the vans not fully loaded? Was there not the possibility that SOMEONE, ANYONE, could have chased after these motherfuckers? I mean, all the other Covenant guys were dead, would it not be prudent to, perhaps, CHASE AFTER THEIR LEADER? I mean, look. They're in the DESERT. How hard could they be to find?

Commercials. Rick Bayless is gay. I don't care that he's married. He is gay. I love his cooking, I dig his show, but if he's not gay, I'm Kim Cattrall. And go see Intolerable Cruelty. I know I will. And that FedEx commercial rules. "Oh, you have an MBA? I'll have to show you how to do it." Hee.

Bathroom Of Bad Men And Their Annoying Lack Of Hair. Head finishes up at the, um, head, and zips up. He moves to the sink to (thankfully) wash his hands. Suddenly, he sees Sydney behind him, and this causes him to splash water all over the front of his pants. Does Kurt Fuller willingly sign up for these dickless roles? Or do they just happen to him?

So, anyway, Head turns, his crotch spotted with water, and Syd's all, we should've gotten that last hostage back, and we would have if you hadn't been…or, I mean, if the cars hadn't been so, um, dysfunctioning and shit. I mean, never mind that! We would have gotten that last hostage back if -- Head just bats at his crotch area with a dry towel and goes, "Who the hell do you think you are --" Syd steps forward and goes, "I'm the person who's gonna hold you accountable if they kill him!" "Oh, you're gonna hold me accountable?" snits Wet Pants. "Did I stutter?" Syd snits back. Wet Pants is all, what exactly is the purpose of this conversation? Syd's all, your pants are wet and there ain't no dryer in this room. Oh, and I'm not really impressed by the fact that you play golf with the Prez, okay, Wet Pants? "What you did was moronic and borderline criminal!" she says, poking a finger in his general direction. "Did it slip your mind that I am the director of the National Security Council? I can pick up the phone and have you thrown into the same cell your father just vacated! Hell, it's still warm!" "Do it!" says Syd. "Give me an object lesson in the abuse of power. Show me how it's done!"

There's a momentary pause. Head considers Syd, Syd considers Head. "If you're finished, this is the men's room," says Head. "Who let you in?" asks Syd. Hee. Syd walks out, leaving Head to rip towels out of the dispenser in a desperate attempt to dry his pants before leaving the bathroom.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

Alias

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP