First and foremost, kudos and huzzahs to Manimal for her outstanding work as the original and fantabulous recapper for this show. As an admitted Alias addict (yes, all of my friends think I've lost the better portion of my brain cells due to this predilection for disco beats, kick-ass fight scenes, and silly plot points), I slavered over Manimal's recaps and giggled my Gaelic heinie off while reading them. She rocks. Unfortunately, as I believe you all know, Manimal has been called by a higher power, so it's up to me to fill her combat boots.
Let's hope I do her justice, people.
Previously on Alias: Actually, it was a repeat, but that's not important right now. Previous to last week's replay, Sydney rescued Spy Daddy, then Spy Daddy rescued Sydney, then Vaughn told Sydney that the codes she discovered in her mother's books were actually KGB Cyrillic for "Kill a bunch of CIA agents, including Vaughn's very own Spy Daddy." There was also some subterranean plot involving Hassan and a chamber filled with gas, but the most important storyline was the whole "I thought my daddy was a KGB agent, but really it was my mommy" thread.
As if ol' Spy Barbie (tm pseudostudent) didn't already have enough problems.
We pick up where the SpyMomsky revelation left off. Namely, with Sydney stalking off in an effort to put her mother, her father, Vaughn, the CIA, and SD-6 behind her. Spy Daddy runs after her and tells her that she can't lose control over the reception of this information. Sydney, breathing heavily, states that this is NOT the best time to start lecturing her. Spy Daddy, with lip fungus and cheek bandage intact, says that he knows how "this" feels. We can only assume he's talking about finding out that a loved one is not the person you thought they were. "Not exactly," says Syd, her lungs reaching full capacity. "You've had a lot longer to make sense of this than I have." "There was a time," says Spy Daddy, "when this was news to me too." Sydney sort of looks like she's trapped in a gilded cage and just wishes to be free, free, FREE! Spy Daddy steps a bit closer and says, "Your mother was sent to the United States to steal secrets from a ranking officer of the CIA. How she and I…'happened' to meet…how she 'supposedly'…fell in love…I thought it was all true."
(Okay, the emphasis on "happened" and "supposedly" from the previous dialogue recap is a result of Victor Garber's excellent delivery of the line. Dudes. If he had just said "happened" in a regular manner, I wouldn't even be bothering to recap this dialogue, but even though the camera wasn't on him during the delivery of this line, Mr. Garber managed to let us know that he was totally rolling his eyes while saying the words "happened" and "supposedly" that clued us all in to the fact that his entire marriage to Sydney's mother was a complete and utter sham.)
"It was just a set-up," continues Spy Daddy. "Even her wanting to have a family?" questions Syd. "Was that just part of the plan too?" Spy Daddy says nothing, obviously not wanting to let Syd know that he, indeed, is not her biological father. Yes, I'm projecting. So what? There is NO WAY that Spy Daddy is actually Syd's father. Come ON. Okay, who here thinks that Spy Daddy is Syd's biological father? Lemme see a show of hands. Really? That many? Okay…I'll keep my other wack suppositions in the vault, then.