Alias
The Box, Part I

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Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The Box, Part I

And now we return to the storyline we actually give a shit about.

One of the FLCs is attempting to drill his way through a wall. Spy Daddy searches the various cameras for the remaining two FLCs. He finds them -- wait for it -- attempting to drill their way through a wall. "We should be in the vault room in ten minutes," Driller FLC informs Shovelhead in a French accent. "Ten minutes?" says Syd. "What're they going for in the vault?" "Could be anything," says Spy Daddy. "Sloane was planning on sending you to Taiwan, do you know about that?" And, while there was no mention of this Taiwan trip in any previous episode, Sydney says, "FTL acquired some Scud launchers and he wants me to scramble their launch codes." Um. What in the hell is "FTL"? One of the posters asked this question, and I have to say, I don't have an answer. I've never even HEARD of this "FTL." Am I missing something? I haven't missed an episode or a recap since the beginning of this show, and I don't remember hearing anything about any "FTL." Whatever. I had to rewind the tape four times just to catch the damn name.

Spy Daddy recalls that Marshall was working on a code-scrambling device, and wants to know if Syd remembers what it looks like. "Why?" Sydney asks. "Sloane must have activated the emergency fail-safe," says Spy Daddy. "There are five hundred pounds of C-4 strategically placed within the substructure of this building. Opening the vault will trigger that C-4. All underground levels will collapse, burying any evidence that the Los Angeles level of SD-6 ever existed." "You want to scramble the vault codes?" says Syd, finally getting a clue. Spy Daddy locates the camera in Marshall's office and asks Sydney if she can identify the scrambler. She sees it: it's a cosmetic compact on his desk. Spy Daddy declares that, even though the desk is near an air vent, it's too dangerous to physically enter Marshall's office. Sydney conveniently spies a novelty magnet in the shape of a shark and declares that they "fish for it." See what she did there? It's a shark magnet? Fishing for it? See?

Shovelhead's Chamber Of Overly-Dramatic Torture. The WCAC FLC is strapping Sloane to a chair. Shovelhead slathers Chapstick on his lips while filling Sloane in on his own torture at the hands of the Russians. Blah blah blah he was tortured for thirty-eight straight days. Thirty-eight days too few, if you ask me. Do you really want me to recap Q-Master's entire speech? Didn't think so. Basically, the Russians asked him questions about Islamic rebels and Russian POWs. Shovelhead tells Sloane that he informed the Russians that he was just a little ol' kid from Redondo Beach running black ops for Uncle Sam. Unfortunately, when the Russians checked with both front-end and back-end CIA info systems, the CIA claimed they'd never heard of him. "They denied all knowledge of any operative by the name of McKenas Cole," concludes Shovelhead. Sloane just smirks.

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Alias

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