The Box, Part I

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Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
The Box, Part I

Syd and her dad enter what looks like a used computer wasteland. It could be the video security area, but I don't see Dead Security Guard #2, so I doubt it. Spy Daddy gets to work on a jumble of cords as Sydney wonders how K-Directorate managed to overpower fifty trained agents. Spy Daddy basically says that it couldn't be K-Directorate, because if K-Directorate attacked SD-6, they'd know that SD-6 would return the favor. His guess is that it's some sort of rogue group that's incredibly unpredictable and dangerous. No duh. Spy Daddy manages to hack into the video surveillance feed and brings up a view of several SD-6 agents, their hands bound behind their backs, with a couple of menacing FLCs circling around them. The hardware, Spy Daddy and Sydney surmise, is standard-issue military. They come up with an FLC headcount of four. Sydney sees Shovelhead on the screen and declares the grand total to be five.

Up in the actual offices, Shovelhead slowly walks around and says that he wants to have a little chat with Arvin. Shovelhead tries to look menacing, but his head is so misshapen and his face is so wonky that he just winds up looking like an incredibly warped cartoon version of "Agent Smith" from The Matrix. Yes, it all comes back to The Matrix, people. Shovelhead makes this totally useless speech about catching up on old times and SD-6 and how Sloane looks older. Get. To. The. Point. Oh. Here it is. "You know what the worst part is?" says Shovelhead. "Being left for dead in Grozny. Arvin? Well, you're going to learn the worst part. But another part that sucks is seeing guys you worked with, guys you thought were tougher than deer jerky, tortured to death. That's no good. The most ironical part for me is we did the damn job. We blew that pipeline to hell the first night we landed." Okay, Quentin Tarantino TOTALLY wrote his own dialogue for this thing. "Deer jerky"? Heh.

Down in the computer wasteland, Syd asks if Spy Daddy knows Shovelhead. He doesn't, but he's familiar with the operation. Blah blah blah Sloane sent a team to Chechnya to destroy a pipeline, bling bling blam there were complications, flim fling flooey the team was captured by the Russians. Shovelhead continues doing the exposition shuffle and says that if some chopper had been where Sloane knew it should have been, his whole life would have taken a different turn. We get it. Shovelhead thinks Sloane screwed him, and now he's here for payback. Next.

Arvin wants to know what Shovelhead wants. Shovelhead informs him that he's got this kick-ass new job working for "The Man." Heh. "What 'The Man' wants is a certain little sumpin' sumpin' you got in the SD-6 vault," says Shovelhead, proving once again that Mr. Tarantino was indeed responsible for his own dialogue. Sloane tells him that when the lockdown was initiated, not only was the vault secured, but the vault access room was secured as well. Shovelhead tells him not to worry about the access room, because his FLCs are taking care of that. What he needs, however, is the combination to the vault itself. Sloane just laughs at him and says, "Not a chance." Dixon, sitting on the floor a few feet away, looks a tad worried. Shovelhead kicks his chair away and mentions "The Conversation Room," a.k.a. "The Torture Room." Shovelhead invites Sloane to join him on a little visit to The Conversation Room.

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