Previously on Alias: Um, does ANYONE remember the last Alias? Because I sure as hell don't. Luckily, the powers that be provide us with a "previously" segment that's about twenty minutes longer than the show itself. Suffice it to say that Syd's in trouble, Vaughn's wrinkling his forehead, Will's still being a toolbox, and Spy Daddy's going to save Syd's ass just in time.
That being said…
Picking up where we left off, Syd's hanging by her fingernails from an airshaft and one of Shovelhead's minions is hot on her trail. Syd's just about to drop to her doom when the minion shows up and turns out to be…wait for it…Spy Daddy! Shocker. Not. He whispers to her to just stay put, and she whispers back that he can't do this. He sits back on his haunches and a look of surprise comes over his face. "You're right! I most certainly DON'T have to do this. Save yourself, sweetheart! I'm goin' to Puerto Vallarta! Woo hoo!" Only it winds up sounding like, "Hold your fire! I'm coming through!" And then Spy Daddy once again bails Spy Barbie out by sacrificing himself to the Forehead God.
Down in SD-6 Hostage Central, Dixon quietly asks Marshall if he's okay. "Except for my head injury," he quips. Hee. His gaping head wound is quite the combo of Hershey's chocolate syrup and food coloring. Shovelhead enters and shoves Spy Daddy into a chair. He then asks Wicked Cool Asian Chick how long it's going to take to get into the vault. This again? Didn't they solve this problem during the last episode? Damn. I should probably go read my own bloody recap. WCAC says something that I can't understand because she's bending down to pick up her Wicked Cool Bag Of Tricks and then…OH GOD. Shovelhead's kissing her! Ew! EWWWWWWW! I hope she got more than scale for this role. Gack. Gaaaack. I think I'm gonna throw up. No, really. I think I'm gonna throw up.
I just threw up.
You should probably all know that I'm suffering from stomach flu at the moment. So, this recap may be just as peppered with vomit as my bathroom by the time this episode is over. Sorry to be gross but, well, QUENTIN TARANTINO JUST KISSED SOMEONE. So, you know, vomit runs a close second to that situation, let me tell you.
Okay, so, anyway, Shovelhead tells WCAC that he needs, like, awesome good news, baby. She runs off to git him some. Shovelhead announces to the room that he'll be in the conversation room. Just as long as you ain't kissin' anybody in the conversation room, we could give a rat's ASS where you are, you ugly mo-fo.