Alias
The Counteragent

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Erin: B | Grade It Now!
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Who? What? Where? Whyeeeeee?

Foolio's Fantasyland Of Fine Foods. We get an exterior shot of a busy street, and there's a sign hanging over one of the storefronts that says, "Lunch." Yes, that's what it says. Are we supposed to believe that the restaurant that previously housed a disco dance party is actually a quaint little lunch spot in downtown Hell-Lay? I thought it was a swank-o-riffic fine dining place. I mean, she's serving turkey burgers and paying college students to prowl the streets of downtown Los Angeles dressed as hamburgers in order to hand out flyers, but she had an opening night party with TECHNO MUSIC and COCKTAILS and now makes BOUILLABAISSE? Why? Whyeeeee?

Oh, god. WHATEVER. Will's hanging out at a table because, apparently, Foolio's restaurant is the new Ovary Electric Central and this is where Will spends ALL OF HIS TIME. Foolio walks up and asks Will what he's looking at. Will's all, oh, it's one of those standardized tests that kids take. "A friend from the newspaper is interested in me maybe tutoring his kid," he finishes. Nice thinking, Will. Your little run-in with the CIA has taught you how to lie, and you're not half bad at it, if I do say so myself.

Foolio reads over the test, noticing something about a reading comprehension essay that was based on the invasion of Grenada. Yeah, doesn't make sense to me either. But Will's all, yeah, you know it's weird -- the only test I could download was from 1982. Foolio says, "Well, back when I was listening to Duran Duran every single day, my uncle was one of the Marines that Reagan sent into Grenada. The invasion was in 1983."

Okay. If that isn't a shout-out then I don't know WHAT is. I mean, besides Foolio proving herself a hell of a lot more useful than a wayward Russian soup-maker, I was mainly flabbergasted by the fact that Duran Duran was included ANYWHERE in an episode. I mean, Duran Duran was practically a central theme in one of my recaps, dudes! Even if it's not a shout-out, I'm taking it as one, because that's how sad and desperate my life is right now.

No, Viggo. I'm not sad and desperate about YOU. Try not to turn everything into something about YOU, okay? You've been in New Zealand for the past FOREVER, okay? You couldn't find the nearest 7-Eleven with a topographic map, a bloodhound, and high-speed radar. Just do me a favor and go clean the bathroom. You're sexy and all that, but you wreak havoc in the loo, sweetie. You really do.

After Foolio provides Will with more information than she's EVER provided before, Will pays another visit to Brit Girl. Of course, they're both wearing the same clothes, so really, they probably just shot the scenes back-to-back and hoped we wouldn't notice. However, we're not really that stupid, are we? Anyway, Brit Girl, a.k.a. "Abby," is listening incredulously as Will babbles about why the Department of Education would give her a fake test. "How can I get a hold of a copy of the original test?" Abby's all, HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY MENTAL?

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Alias

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