Alias
The Counteragent

Episode Report Card
Erin: B | Grade It Now!
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Who? What? Where? Whyeeeeee?

While Syd-san's kicking ass, we're forced to suffer through a far-too-lingering shot of Naked Sloane as a geisha massages his calf. For someone being waited on hand and foot by a submissive geisha, Captain Crabapple seems awfully depressed. Syd-san approaches Ron's House Of Geisha via a lovely little bridge, then enters and says something in Japanese to the other geisha. The other geisha leaves, and Syd greets Brigadier Bare-Ass. He quickly turns his head and allows Syd-san to work his sore muscles.

"Oh...God, I'm tense," groans Agent Au Naturel. "Not a big surprise. I saw a man die yesterday." Sergeant Starkers turns over and asks if Syd-san understands. She acts rike she no speako no Engrish, and he returns to relaxing and spilling his guts about Richter. Syd-san pulls one of her hair ornaments out and tugs on it with her teeth, revealing that it's actually needles of some sort. Uncle Unrobed says something about how Richter's love for his wife was what sustained him and that he, Sloane, loved his wife too, but he had to take action. Well, that's about it for Syd-san. She stabs Sergeant Stripped in the back of the neck with the pin, and he passes out.

Syd-san runs outside and starts jabbering in Japanese about the semi-dead guy on her massage table. Sark's all, you're so good, do you know that? Marry me. Or at least let me sit next to you on our next family road trip to Wally World. He then orders someone to send in an ambulance. As Syd-san exits the outer spa doors, EMTs cart Sloane into the ambulance. She watches them load his inert body as Sark walks up and minces to Syd about how he wasn't patronizing her earlier when he wished her luck. Syd's all, release the serum to your man, ya bitch. Sark gets on the horn and instructs his guy to hand over the antidote. He gives the case code as 10-11-92. I don't know if that's important, but it seems like a date or something. Hmmmm...

Over at the U.S. Naval Medical Center, Sark's associate hands over the antidote, and Jack tells him that he'll have to stick around until it's tested. I don't think Sark's associate is too pleased about this, but, like, he just earned his SAG card, so he really should shut the hell up. Back in Tokyo, Sark enters the ambulance and smirks at Syd, "It was nice working with you." Syd-san just glares at him and then looks at Detective Do Not Disturb. As the ambulance doors are closed, Syd-san sort of looks like she wants to stop them and save Captain Crack-Up. But she doesn't. Buh-bye, Sloane.

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Alias

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