Alias
The Coup

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Erin: D | 1 USERS: C-
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Vegas, baby! VEGAS!

The wounded man drops to his knees, awaiting the final shot. Ewan Deux takes a moment, reloads, then empties his gun into the wounded man. He falls down dead, and Ewan Deux sort of just cocks his head curiously, as if he can't quite believe he's just erased some guy from this earthly plane.

Bad Spies-R-Us. Sloane's explaining to his gathered troops that they're watching surveillance camera footage from outside the Tai-Do Chem Engineering building. Yeah, it could be "Tai-Bo Ken" or "Tie-Hoe Wen" or any other such combination of words that mean nothing, but that's not important right now. What's important is that this company is just a front and this building is actually the headquarters for FTL. The man who was assassinated was Kwan Lee, the head of FTL. No, I still don't know what "FTL" stands for. Yes, I'm sure it's kind of important. No, I still don't care.

The point is, some random guy (some random HOT guy) led an ambush inside the FTL headquarters at precisely the same time as SD-6 was attacked. The shooter can't be identified, because he doesn't show up in any database. Dixon remarks that he didn't seem to mind being photographed. Well, if you were as HOT as this guy, you probably wouldn't mind either. Yes, this theme will most likely run through the entirety of this recap, primarily because, well, I have a thing for Ewan McGregor and, secondarily because, well, I'm feeling a bit randy at the moment, okay? Deal.

So, um, anyway, Ewan Deux here led his group into FTL with the intention of stealing a Rambaldi artifact. There he is again, that Rambaldi dude. The entire FTL network crumbled within hours, according to Spy Daddy. "What you're saying," comments Dixon, "is FTL no longer exists." No one responds. Oh, except for Marshall. "Um, sorry," he stammers, raising his hand like he expects Sloane to call on him. "Stupid question but...since FTL is, um, sorry, was, an enemy for, like, ever, um, shouldn't we be drinking champagne?" Hee. Marshall. The Voice of the People. The Voice of the Stupid People, but a voice nonetheless.

"Someone had the means to launch a unilateral attack on us and FTL and we haven't got a clue who's responsible," barks Spy Daddy. "In addition," says Sloane, "they now have what seems to be the most significant collection of Rambaldi artifacts in the world." You know, I can't wait until this season's over and we finally figure out just what in the HELL is up with this Rambaldi guy. I mean, he's all over the place and all we keep getting are red herrings and clues that mean absolutely zilch. Gadgets, drawings, vials of fluid -- come on already! Explain yourselves!

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Alias

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