Alias
The Coup

Episode Report Card
Erin: D | 1 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Vegas, baby! VEGAS!

After this foray into Never-Never Land, we catch up with Sydney as she's chatting with her professor about leaving the program. Drop. It. Drop the grad school chalupa already, okay? Her professor wants to know why she wants to drop, she's wearing herself too thin, she's one of the best students he's ever had...oh, SHUT UP. She's never in class, she hands papers in late, you've made her rewrite substandard work, and she wrote a paper on freakin' F. Scott Fitzgerald, for Christ's sake! This is SO ridiculous. Buh-bye.

Out on the campus, Syd's putting up Charlie's fliers. A pretty girl walks up and exclaims that she didn't know Charlie was a singer. Syd's all, you know Charlie? Pretty Girl's all, uh, yeah, unfortunately. She introduces herself as Stella, and Syd's all, what'd you mean by "unfortunately"? Stella's all, we went out for a few months and he was a jerk. Story of my dating life. Pardon me. Uh, anyway, Syd wants to know when this relationship occurred and is shocked, nay STUNNED, to discover that it took place just a few months ago, meaning that Stella and Charlie were knockin' da boots while Francie and Charlie were deep in the throes of monogamous lurve. What. Ever. Hi. This storyline worked fine WHEN IT WAS INTRODUCED EIGHT EPISODES AGO. Remember that? And Francie went all ballistic on Charlie's ass and it turned out that Charlie wasn't cheating, he was just trying to become a singer? Yeah. Way to return to the well of inspiration. Not.

Vegas, baby, VEGAS! Finally, we're on to the spy portion of the evening. Syd and Dix are walking along with Vegas playing in the background. Dix is wearing the aforementioned silly Rasta wig. Syd's wearing horn-rimmed glasses that make her look like Clark Kent's daughter. Is this her disguise? Because, you know, we can still tell it's her. She's yammering on her cell phone to Willage about the whole Charlie cheating thing. Lois Lame's advising Syd to only tell Francie after she's good and drunk (Francie, not Syd). Although I'd strongly advise Syd to get good and liquored up herself before embarking on a cheating tell-all with her best friend. That way, they can both cry and slobber and moan about their boyfriends and how they're assholes and how much it sucks when the men they love cheat on them with an Asian hooker in Philadelphia while visiting their cousins. Oh. Wait. That's just me. Sorry.

Ahem. Dix wants to know if Syd can focus on the task at hand. Syd blathers on about how, as spies, they're trained to read people and look for clues, and still she never saw this cheating scenario coming. We never do, Syd. Trust me. Dix says something about not having to lecture Syd on people's capacity to keep secrets, which kind of sounds to me like Dix kind of knows what's going on with Syd's double-and-triple life. But what the hell do I know? They split up after Syd hands over the duplicate ring.

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Alias

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