We open up in a movie theatre, one of those retrospectives places like in Foul Play. Man, I love that movie. Shut up. It's cute. And it has Chevy Chase BEFORE he became pathetic and Goldie Hawn BEFORE she started trying to look younger than her daughter. There's a film noir-type movie playing on the screen. Jack enters, looking impressively manly, and takes a seat. He starts talking to someone we can't see about how he has five names, Alliance partners, and he needs their whereabouts and phone records. "Assume the usual protocols have been compromised," he says, leaning over and pressing a piece of paper against some guy's shoulder. As he pushes, the guy kind of falls over and Jack realizes that The Guy is now The Dead Guy. He also realizes that the jig, she is up.
As Jack puts the list back in his pocket and starts to get the hell out of there, some guy with a gun comes up and instructs him to take it easy. Jack's not really a "take it easy" kind of guy, however, and just pulls the gun around, shooting the guy in the chest. No one in the theatre even notices the gunshot, because this is L.A. and they all probably figure that someone's just settling a dispute over who ate the last Milk Dud. Jack gets up to leave. Unfortunately, the theatre is hiding yet another one of (I'm assuming) Face Doneaway's lackeys, and he chooses this moment to come forward and put the grab on old Jacky Boy.
Lackey Number Two is fairly inept, however, and it would seem there are very few men with guns out there who are any match for our Spy Daddy. There's some fairly significant ass-kicking going on, during which we have occasion to glimpse Victor Garber not only doing his own stunts, but also looking pretty goddamn hot while doing them.
After dropping Lackey Number Two with a couple of choice sidearm slams to the throat, Jack makes haste down a back stairway and winds up in the parking garage. Before he can find his keys and locate his Beemer, however, Syd peels around the corner, squeals to a halt, and shouts, "Dad! Get in!" This, of course, echoes the scene from the pilot episode where Jack performed the very same action for Syd. Nice juxtaposition. He gets in, and they go off.
Spy Barbie and her proud papa burn rubber away from the movie theatre (which, according the ensuing car chase footage, seems to be located in a vacant warehouse district next to a freeway -- the hell?), and Syd does a damn fine job of driving like a martini-less Diana Ross desperately headed for her next watering hole. As they careen around other cars on the road, a big-ass black GMC truck peels out from behind a car and starts following them. Unfortunately, Spy Daddy's too busy bitching out his daughter to notice.
Jack's all, Syd? Honey? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? Squeal. Screech. Syd's all, Kendall called. He was worried that you hadn't checked in since last night. Jack's all, yeah, well, that might be because Face Doneaway and her Minions of Doom are after my ass. Squeal. Screech. Syd's all, whuh? What in the hell is going on? Jack's all, well, someone duped the Alliance out of a hundred million dollars. They're a little attached to their money, you know, and, like, well, they think the person who stole their cash is me. Squeal. Screech.









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