Blah blah blah background blabbedy background bad Spy Mommy, BAD!

Previously on Alias: Jack confronts Irina with the announcement that, if Syd plays any part in Mama Hari's endgame, he will KILL her. And boy, he sounds serious. Before he can self-righteously stalk off, however, Mama Hari quips something about how Father Of The Year over here hasn't told Syd about what he did to her when she was a child. Bad Spy Daddy! We then watch the replay of Spy Mommy telling Syd that there are no explosives at the place where The Bible is. Spy Daddy then sneakily makes sure that there are. Boom boom. Buh-bye, Spy Mommy.

Okay, how psyched am I that the song that opens this episode is "This World" by Zero 7? They rule. And even though someone on the forums pointed this out, I feel all exclusive and cool and giggling inside because I actually bought the Zero 7 album, like, three or four months ago, after I heard one of their songs on the sampler disc that came with a copy of Q Magazine. Yes, I subscribe to Q Magazine. And that is why I think I'm cool. It's the little things that make me happy. Like thinking I'm cooler than everyone else because I subscribe to a fucking British import music mag.

As Mozez croons about another child being born and another race being won, Syd walks down the gated corridor to her mother's now empty cell. Dudes. This is the perfect usage of this song and its lyrics. Syd stands and looks around the empty cell, wondering about her mother's betrayal, as the lyric "another dream shattered, another day has begun" slides across the soundtrack. Excellent.

Later that day, or before that day, or sometime last year, Syd's at a Joint Intelligence Committee Special Hearing, saying her piece about Mama Hari. Basically, she says that Irina provided valuable and important intelligence, even though she's a heinous bitch of a mother who never loved her the way she should have -- and some snowy senator interrupts her, wanting to discuss last week's blow-up.

Syd explains that Mama Hari, before she gave herself up, cleverly concealed her operations manual, otherwise known as "The Bible." If by "cleverly concealed" you mean "stupidly shoved it away in a Madagascar shed without any security and then allowed it to be blown to shit." Syd then regurgitates the entirety of the latter portion of the last episode -- namely, that The Bible was housed at the Madagascar location and that it was safe to enter the building where it was being housed. "In truth, it was a trap," says Syd. "Derevko had rigged it with explosives. Just as we were about to enter the building, an agent spotted something on the satellite imagery." "That agent was your father," says some other stuffy senator.

Okay, what the hell does that have to do with anything? Who gives a damn if the agent was her father? And, like, we've all watched the damn episode so, uh, WE KNOW THAT. Has anyone else noticed that lately the first ten minutes of the episode blathers back at us a mini-episode synopsis? What, are we suffering from ADD? Do they think we can't RETAIN anything? I mean, I know ABC chose not to show this episode last weekend when they were supposed to because they're baseball-loving MORONS, but, like, did anyone else not remember the episode before that? Whatever. I already have a headache and it's only five minutes into the goddamn show. Viggo! Call Clooney! I need a little Ocean's Eleven session. Yes, I still love you, but variety is the spice of a life, so shut up and dial.

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