Alias
The Shed

Episode Report Card
Erin: F | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
"The Shed"? It's more like The Shit. And not in the good way.

And now is the time on Alias when we just crawl under the covers and hope the final episode of the season (and possibly the show in general) wraps everything up nicely and neatly and that Vaughn comes back and he and Sydney drive off into the clouds in their convertible T-Bird while all the other kids sing and wave.

Sloane's Cell of Convenience. Dix and Sloane are discussing Sloane's contact, Dolshenko, who was an under secretary in some bureau. Sloane's worked with him for the past ten years. Dolshenko is claiming that the Russians killed all but a few survivors of the Clifford the Big Red Ball incident and now they're pursuing cures. Honestly, considering how this entire subplot turns out, this scene is fairly unnecessary. Just know that Sloane is meeting Dolshenko in Russia, Dix thinks it might be a trap, Sloane doesn't agree, he's giving Dolshenko $300,000, and Dix is going to make sure that Sloane returns to his cell; when they're in the field, Sloane is to follow Dixon's instructions, no matter what. And...scene.

Prague. We're at the Au Bon Pain on Monroe Street in Chicago (what? That's what it looks like) and Syd, Getty, and Marshall are watching the building. Marshall says the hacker is inside the Au Bon Pain because he's getting a signal reading from the Wi-Fi Hotspot inside. Or something. Yawn. Marshall glues a microprocessor to the bottom of a tin of mints and if someone gets it within five feet of the hacker, it'll allow Marshall to clone the hard drive. Even better, the mints contain a tracking device, so if they offer the hacker one, they'll be able to locate him no matter where he goes.

Both Getty and Syd reach back for the mint tin and they kind of look at each other and Syd speaks to him in Czech and he's all, what the hell is that? And she's all, it's Czech, stupid, and he's all, oh, durr, well, why don't YOU go hand over the mint tin then? So Syd and her gargantuan belly leave. Inside the Au Bon Pain, she immediately hones in on a guy in a backward baseball cap working on a laptop. She asks him if he's American, he says he isn't, she says she thought he was because of his hat, which is a Boston Red Sox cap, like, it's not enough that we have to endure the Affletus (tm Sars) as part of the storyline, but now we're getting his favorite baseball team too? I mean, couldn't it have been the Yankees or something? Note to writers: We don't need any more in-jokes, people. Garner's pregnancy is one big giant in-joke, so leave the other ones on the cutting room floor, please.

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Alias

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