Alias
The Solution

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Erin: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Solution! We Don't Need No Stinkin' Solution!

Some of the posters have suggested (and I think you're all absolutely correct here) that this is the moment when Sloane realizes that the biopsy is the precise moment when Emily's going to be eliminated by the Alliance. If this is indeed the case, then, well, both Ron Rifkin and Amy Irving deserve frickin' Emmy nominations for their work here. Yeah, we're supposed to hate Sloane. Yeah, he's an evil bastard. Yeah, he still makes you reach for the damn Kleenex.

Auntie Em sees Sloane's expression and tries to reassure him that everything's going to be all right. He contemplates her quietly. "You are so beautiful," he whispers. She laughs. "I know I must look wonderful." Sloane's eyes well up with tears. "Hold me," says Emily. Oh, God. Sloane bends down and takes her tenderly in his arms. "I am so proud of you," says Emily. Sloane pulls her closer and starts crying into the nape of her neck. Look, before you think I'm going all Harlequin Romance on your asses, just watch your tapes of this episode again, okay? This is one damn fine scene. Julio! JULIO! More Kleenex for the Mistress!

Denpasar. Another Travel Channel establishing shot of a marketplace. Sydney's being carted around in Denpasar's version of a rickshaw. She's cloaked, head to toe, in layer after layer of lampshade material. The lower half of her face is covered as well, revealing only her eyes and what looks like the result of a self-tanning experiment gone terribly awry.

From beneath her disguise, she asks Vaughn whassup. From his post above the marketplace, he informs her that Sark has one guy inside and one guy outside, as discussed. "He stuck to the plan," breathes Syd. "Yeah, so far," says Agent A-Team. "But if something changes, we're ready." That is such a relief. That declaration has simply bathed me in relief. Except, you know, NOT.

Syd approaches Sark's gate and enters as Vaughn tells her through her earpiece that, after they both test the merchandise, they should go their separate ways. No duh, Vaughn. Did you think they were going to head to the local watering hole for a few Indonesian Pale Ales and some beer nuts? God.

Syd walks up to Sark, who is rather sexily dressed in a pale linen suit and a white untucked shirt, and says something to him in some foreign language. He responds in the same language. Look, I know I should know what language it is but cut me some slack. I barely paid attention to the whole Vaughn/Sydney black market exposition scene, okay? It's a foreign language. Are we done yet?

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Alias

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