The Solution

Episode Report Card
Erin: B+ | Grade It Now!
Solution! We Don't Need No Stinkin' Solution!

Syd gets this look of dawning enlightenment across her face as the Excessive Electronica of Ominous Ominousity plays. Next thing you know, Syd's down in the Subbasement of Dreams and Desires telling Vaughn that they can get Kasineau to come to them. The Rambaldi Solution. Remember that little vial of liquid that took Shovelhead two damn episodes to unsuccessfully steal? Yeah. That one. Kasineau wants it and Syd thinks they should give it to him.

Captain Forehead then pays a visit to Devlin to discuss Syd's potential plan of action. Now, because we ALL know what the damn "solution" is and what it's used for, I'm just going to cut to the chase on this scene and tell y'all that Syd is suggesting that they go to Kasineau and pretend there's another vial and try to sell it to him. Look. Her plan is MUCH more complex than this but, like, it's so convoluted and bizarre and requires, like, NINE PAGES TO EXPLAIN, so, uh, here it is in a nutshell. Warning: this will be boring and completely unfunny, but it'll be concise, okay? Don't bitch at me because the writers apparently have ADD and watch too many early-seventies spy capers.

Deep breath.

Kasineau thinks the vial is still at SD-6. Syd wants to pretend there's another one. Vaughn wants to know how they'll do that. There's a museum in Algeria that Sloane thought had possession of some Rambaldi artifacts. Sloane sent a team to steal them. The mission failed and Sloane had the team executed before they could talk. So, for all intents and purposes, there still exists a supposed cache of Rambaldi artifacts in Algeria.

Another deep breath.

Syd wants to break into the museum and steal a bunch of shit and then start spreading rumors about what exactly was taken and let Kasineau get wind of the booty (yes, somehow, that sounds rather gross, doesn't it?) and think that someone has possession of another vial of Rambaldi goo and of course he'll want it and of course Syd and Vaughn will contact Kasineau about a black market sale.

Whoo. That was a doozy. I'm winded. Looks like it's time for Julio, my wayward houseboy with six-pack abs, to bring Mistress a refreshing cocktail. Julio! Vodka and tonic for the Mistress! And be quick about it, or no Skinemax for you later tonight.

Devlin's not really interested in backing an operation that involves stealing precious items from a museum. Vaughn assures him that they'll sell all the items back to the museum via back channels, whatever that means. The whole point is to get Kasineau to notice the theft and think they have a duplicate ampoule. The kicker? Vaughn wants to go with Sydney. Devlin's all, I don't think so Desk Boy. Vaughn's all, but I lurrrrrve her. Oh, and she'll be working for us, not SD-6, so she'll need backup.

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