Alias
The Solution

Episode Report Card
Erin: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Solution! We Don't Need No Stinkin' Solution!

Back to present, Agent A-Team is in the control room getting ready for the shutdown. He, like Sydney, is also speaking in a hideous French accent, which, considering that Michael Vartan is actually FRENCH, is remarkably stupid. Anyway, the Algerian museum guys shut down the security system, Agent A-Team whips out (again, shut up!) the doo-dad and activates it, and the security system comes back up. The cameras, however, do not.

And we're back to the mini-flashback. Like, I totally get why they do these things and, as a watcher, I'm grateful because it furthers the plot without a lot of draggy exposition but, like, it's REALLY hard to write about it. Yeah, I know, just shut up and write.

Anyway, mini-flashback. Vaughn's saying something about shutting down the ventilation system. Syd responds that this will allow her to gain access to the air shaft without getting sliced and diced by the fans. Back in the control room, Agent Accent requests that they shut down the ventilation system. Elsewhere in the museum, Spy Barbie brings her escort down with a couple of swift hits from her clipboard. She runs through the halls until she winds up at an air vent.

Spy Barbie removes the grate (or whatever the hell you call it) and pulls out her handy-dandy automatic grappling hook. She shoots it up into the air shaft and it locks onto the non-operational fan grid. She swings out into the shaft (hee...I just wrote "shaft"...hee!) and lowers herself down into the darkness.

And break! Fill up the chips, grab the dips, pour the drinks, and get yer heinies back to the sofa. Julio! You know what to do and you know the way I like it. Shake that thang...

Control Room of Bad Accents and Guys Who Really Should Understand French Because THIS IS ALGERIA, NOT SIBERIA. Agent Accent requests that the heating system be taken off-line. Why? You think I know? I don't pay attention to this shit. Syd's lowering herself down the shaft (hee!) as another Vaughn mini-flashback informs us that the vault room is located sixty-seven feet below the main level. Yeah, I don't really know or care what he's talking about.

Syd makes it out of the shaft and makes her way over to the vault as the mini-flashback lets us know that the little ID bracelet that Vaughn gives her isn't a going-steady token but is, instead, a high-tech device that will not only crack the vault but short the alarm system as well. Where do they get these wonderful toys?

Back in the present, Syd uses the ID bracelet and quickly enters the vault. She fills her messenger bag with a bunch of useless pieces of ancient crap. Up in the control room, all hell's about to break loose. Some random Algerian guy enters all spooled up in a Mediterranean lather because of the system shutdown. He orders the power to be restored. Agent Accent gets lippy with Lather Dude in his hideous French accent and then turns to his interpreter and spews out the most glorious stream of actual French that I've ever heard.

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Alias

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