The Two

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | Grade It Now!
Mr. Sandman, bring me a clue

Okay. I have to stop that, because here's the part where, even though I think Syd's WAY out of line and over the top during this scene, Jennifer Garner, in this final moment, does a killer job of conveying the mix of emotions and irrational feelings Syd's experiencing at the moment. "You want to know how I am?" she hisses. "I am horrible. Vaughn, I am ripped apart. And not because I lost you, but…because…if it had been me, I would have waited. I would have found the truth. I wouldn't have given up on you. And now I realize what an absolute WASTE that would have been."

Yeah. Very nice moment. Really. Too bad it follows a complete and total HISSYFIT. See, like, I get that Syd's been hurt and she's dealing with a serious amount of shit right now, but, um, SHE WAS DEAD. Even though Vaughn didn't have an actual corpse like Syd did when she had Danny, he still had lost the woman he loved, okay? CUT. HIM. SOME. SLACK. I'm sure she'll mellow out in the coming episodes, but I still think she could have, you know, backed off a bit before she CASTRATED HIM PUBLICLY.

Of course, since it appears that the only effect Syd's speech had on Vaughn was to make his eyes twitch a bit and his nose wrinkle as if he smelled something rather poo-y, I'd say that she wasn't harsh enough. Seriously. What J. Crew mannequin wandered onto the set and performed this scene in lieu of Michael Vartan, huh? WAKE UP, MICHAEL. Blink blink. Blink blink. Maybe Syd should have grabbed Agent Sean's Chilean Sea Bass filet and whapped him upside the head. Maybe THEN he'd have done more than blink and wrinkle at her. Syd walks off, and Vaughn just ponders everything she said and wonders how fast he can get to Mexico for a quickie divorce.

Back in Oops Center, what looks like a couple of days later, Marshall's showing Syd one of them newfangled computer thangs as Rickie Lee Jones continues warbling over the soundtrack. Syd gets up, turns, and sees her father walking in. And I totally lose it. I mean it. I just start sobbing. I wish I were kidding. Syd sort of run/walks to her dad and throws herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. "Thank you," he rasps as tears roll down her cheeks. He pulls back and touches her face gently. "There's something I need to show you," he says. Uh-oh. That does NOT sound good.

Subbasement of Dreams and Desires. Or Something Like It. Whatever -- they're not at Oops Center, that's for sure. Spy Daddy tells her that a year after Syd's apparent death, he was on an op, and one of the men he was tracking was some dude named Lazaray. Spy Daddy shows Syd the picture, and she says she's never seen him before.

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