Plane of Revelations. Syd is swabbing up Will's head and asking him if Anna's people interrogated him. He says they didn't. No shit, dude. They plugged something into your skull; they weren't really interested in asking questions. He asks if it's safe to make a call. "I should probably let my fiancée know I'm okay," he says. "Did you just say 'fiancée'?" asks Syd. Will feigns surprise all, oh, did I? I suppose I must have. How silly of me. Syd beams at him, and Will sheepishly mentions the painter he told her about during Season Three, and how Syd had told him to ask her out so he finally asked her out. Syd's totally happy for him, and he says that he hadn't asked her to marry him yet, but that he'd been planning on asking her last night but then Anna showed up and tasered him and stuck a bomb in his brain.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Will's pretty sure the painter would've said yes if he'd asked her, and Syd comments, "How can you be marrying a girl I haven't even met yet?" "Well, you know," says Will, "I think the government-mandated isolation might have something to do with it." Hee. LOVE WILL. Will asks what's going on with her and Syd says that, for starters, she has a huge baby girl. Will can't believe it. "Who's the father?" he asks. "Vaughn," she says. And Will gets this momentary hangdog look about him that I attribute to him thinking that, perhaps, their little tryst back in Warsaw created more than just awkward morning-after tension. But he quickly recovers and is immediately happy for her and says, "Of course. You guys finally ended up together." Aw.
Syd gets this sad look on her face and we switch to the Apple Store as Syd says to Jack, "I hate lying to him. He's my best friend and I can't even tell him the truth." They're watching as Dix, Will and Marshall shoot the shit in the distance. "You should've seen Will's face when I told him Vaughn was dead," she says. "Sydney," says Jack, "the only way to ensure Vaughn's safety is to keep his existence a secret." Okay. Well. I guess that answers THAT question. So Syd and Jack were behind Vaughn's fake death from gazillions of bullet wounds. I mean, he still actually HAD the gazillions of bullet wounds, he just didn't DIE from them. Oh ho no. He lived through that, only to have Jack feed him some Rambaldi Romeo juice or something, and he conked out, and Syd spent most of the first part of this season running around and crying and avenging her fiancé's non-death. Could we -- and I don't believe I'm speaking for just myself here -- at some point maybe get the entire sequence of events that led up to Vaughn copping a squat up in the Himalayas with a bunch of scrubby nag champa-smelling monks? I'm not asking for much, you understand. Just, say, a minute or two COMMITTED TO FILM so that I don't have to spend the remainder of this season going, "Way to fucking ret-con everything up, WRITERS."