There's Only One Sydney Bristow

Episode Report Card
Erin: B+ | 2 USERS: C
Two Sydneys for the price of one.

Which, fortunately, is of Will. Unfortunately, it's of Will, strapped to a chair, all beat up and shit. And he's not even awake. Well, that's a buzzkill. Michael Massee comes up behind Will and he's holding a rather large gun in his right hand. He asks Peyton to hold Will's head steady. She does so. And then Dr. Funboy shoves the tip of the gun into the base of Will's skull (major snaps and applause for the Foley dudes because the sound of that? NASTY) and fires something into his brain. Gross. Peyton drops Will's head like it's covered in leeches, and then Dr. Funboy informs her that Will should be awake soon. And with a remarkable migraine too. Peyton says she'll tell Anna to make the call.

Apple Store. Sloane's playing back a recorded conversation for Sydney. The conversation is between Anna and a Russian named Semanko with whom she's setting up a meeting. Sloane tells Sydney and her team that they're to infiltrate the club where the meeting is taking place. Syd says that it's doubtful they'll be able to just waltz in the door, and Sloane tells her they'll have an insertion scenario in place for her upon her arrival. The doorbell rings, and Syd tells Sloane she has to go because the babysitters are here.

And here comes one of the funniest scenes in this episode, if not this entire series.

Syd opens the front door and two men are standing on her doorstep: Agents Rance and Dalton. They're Jack's personal emissaries, apparently, and they're here to take care of Gigantor--erm, I mean, "Isabelle." They enter and Rance (who's played by Sterling K. Brown, the bulimic cop from the short-lived but totally fab Starved) flips open his briefcase, which is filled with odd gadgets and gizmos and...a rattle? Hee. Also "hee" is the conversation that takes place between Rance and Syd here.

"It's my understanding that Isabelle is approaching five weeks in age?" asks Rance in his best Joe Friday voice. "Yes," says Syd, glowing happily. "I would imagine you have a healthy amount of separation anxiety towards leaving your daughter?" Rance fires off. "Yeah, I do, yeah," stutters Syd. "In addition to our field officer training," says Rance, "Agent Dalton and I are both fully trained in infant development, including emergency care." Syd looks at him like, "Are you kidding with this shit?" Rance goes on to ask if it'd be okay if they went through the house and baby-proofed it, top to bottom. He then rattles off a list of the stuff they'll take care of: socket protectors, safety latches, gates for the stairs...spread-spectrum R.F. protectors, perimeter sensors, explosive sniffers; you know, the usual stuff. Hee. "Ooookay..." says Syd. Suddenly, Isabelle cries and Syd looks off at the sound of it. Rance says that this might be a good time to meet the baby, and they walk off to see Gigantor.

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