But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Will's pretty sure the painter would've said yes if he'd asked her, and Syd comments, "How can you be marrying a girl I haven't even met yet?" "Well, you know," says Will, "I think the government-mandated isolation might have something to do with it." Hee. LOVE WILL. Will asks what's going on with her and Syd says that, for starters, she has a huge baby girl. Will can't believe it. "Who's the father?" he asks. "Vaughn," she says. And Will gets this momentary hangdog look about him that I attribute to him thinking that, perhaps, their little tryst back in Warsaw created more than just awkward morning-after tension. But he quickly recovers and is immediately happy for her and says, "Of course. You guys finally ended up together." Aw.
Syd gets this sad look on her face and we switch to the Apple Store as Syd says to Jack, "I hate lying to him. He's my best friend and I can't even tell him the truth." They're watching as Dix, Will and Marshall shoot the shit in the distance. "You should've seen Will's face when I told him Vaughn was dead," she says. "Sydney," says Jack, "the only way to ensure Vaughn's safety is to keep his existence a secret." Okay. Well. I guess that answers THAT question. So Syd and Jack were behind Vaughn's fake death from gazillions of bullet wounds. I mean, he still actually HAD the gazillions of bullet wounds, he just didn't DIE from them. Oh ho no. He lived through that, only to have Jack feed him some Rambaldi Romeo juice or something, and he conked out, and Syd spent most of the first part of this season running around and crying and avenging her fiancé's non-death. Could we -- and I don't believe I'm speaking for just myself here -- at some point maybe get the entire sequence of events that led up to Vaughn copping a squat up in the Himalayas with a bunch of scrubby nag champa-smelling monks? I'm not asking for much, you understand. Just, say, a minute or two COMMITTED TO FILM so that I don't have to spend the remainder of this season going, "Way to fucking ret-con everything up, WRITERS."
So, whatever, Jack and Syd are responsible for keeping Vaughn alive and hidden. Jack says their absolute vigilance to keeping the truth hidden is the only key to Vaughn's continued survival. Will's abduction underscores the importance of this. "You think Prophet Five had something to do with Will's abduction?" asks Syd. No, duh, Sydney. Actually, Sark was behind it and his little dog Toto, too! Jack says there's no logical reason why anyone would abduct Will unless they were trying to get to Sydney. Oh, don't bring logic into this, Jack; you'll only sprain something.
Dr. Funboy's House of Double Helixes. Angus McFatten is strolling down a corridor lined with several computers with spinning helixes on their screens. He's on the phone, commending Sloane on a job well done. Sloane wants to know what the hell is going on and what Prophet Five's complete plan is. Angus tells Sloane that all he needs to do is task his team accordingly when he, Angus, gives him the signal. "And what, exactly, is the signal?" asks Sloane. "Believe me," says Angus, "you'll know." He gets off the phone, and I have the TiVo paused at a spot in which Michael Massee is turning to look at Angus Macfadyen and HE IS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. Gah. Ooogedy boogedy. Dude's a damn boogyman, y'all. Shiver. Angus and Dr. Funboy turn to look through the glass at Anna, who's standing there motionless, being scanned or something. Can you guess where this is going? Huh? CAN YOU?