Alias
Alias

Episode Report Card
Manimal: B+ | 669 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Truth be told -- over and over again

Cut to Sydney running laps with her friend Will. She's way ahead of him. He is so her punk (as we will see later in the episode). They talk about a blind date Will had last night. Apparently it's off -- the woman told him her favorite movie of all time is Pretty Woman. Sydney (very non-judgmentally) points out that a lot of people like that movie. Will (sensibly) points out that having Pretty Woman as your favorite all-time movie means you are excluding every other movie ever made. Haw! He asks her to go see Lawrence of Arabia. She says no, she's taking dinner to Danny that night. He says they can go to the late show. Sydney tells him that they're getting married. Will's crests totally fall. Oh, God. We've already seen the Elena of this show -- do we have to get the spy version of Knoll Crane, too? How much backstory are they trying to cram into this sucker?

The Soft, Whispery Song Stylings Of Impending Doom. Sydney's sitting on the sofa, studying a book; Danny's at the table. The music plays, they eye each other, and then Danny pounces on her. Yadda yadda, we're so in love, we're gonna have children one day, Danny starts kissing her stomach, Bitchy Gay Chinese Friend and I gross out like twelve-year-olds.

BGCF: I did not sign on to see breeders make out. Is this show going to get fun? Are you paying for my phone bill?
Manimal (shielding eyes with hands, trying to look at the sofa that they're lying on without actually looking directly at kissing couple): God, look at that apartment. It's gorgeous.
BGCF: It's so...Pottery Barn. Get some standards, girl!

Sydney, post-we're-gonna-have-children-comment, gets a very "Papa Don't Preach" look on her face. She takes Danny by the hand and leads him upstairs to the shower, turning the music up on the way. She takes off her clothes and tells Danny to get undressed. He's all, "Hell, yeah!" But then they get into the shower, and Sydney tells him she works for the CIA. He's all, "This is the weirdest foreplay ever," and thinks it's a joke, but then, after the shortest "Honey, I'm really a spy!" conversation ever, he soon leaves the shower in a funk.

Cut to the Taiwanese Interrogation Chamber. Sydney and her straggly hair watch in horror as a Taiwanese glasses-wearing gentlemen, who I'm calling Generic Asian Bad Guy, comes in holding a syringe. In a weird semi-phallic gesture, he shoots a long stream of clear fluid out of the syringe while Sydney looks more and more horrified. The door slams on them. This was so clearly meant to be a commercial break. As the astute folks on the forums have pointed out, what was the point of having the episode commercial-free when you could see the seams and breaks? It also made me realize the difference between the mediums -- in a movie, I hate seeing commercials even BEFORE the picture starts, but on TV I expect, even love them. When else can I get more potato chips or go pee?

Alias

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