Truth Be Told

Episode Report Card
Manimal: B | 3 USERS: A+
Truth be told -- over and over again

Leavin' on a jet plane. Dixon tells Sydney that Sloane doesn't like her being in grad school. Sydney says that she's not giving it up, but that she knows that Sloane doesn't like them having an outside life. Sydney asks Dixon how long he's been married, and if he loves his wife, and how he deals with not telling her about what he really does. Dixon tells her firmly that he's protecting his wife. Sydney asks if he doesn't feel like he's lying to her.

Okay, first of all, you don't FEEL like you're lying to someone. You KNOW when you're lying to someone. You can feel GUILTY that you're lying to them, but unless lies have developed spikes or some sort of ability to give physical sensation, then you can't FEEL THEM. Then poor Carl Lumbly is forced to utter yet another pearl of dialogue from the pen of J.J. Abrams: "If there's one rule that you don't break, that's the rule you don't break." Jennifer Garner looks like she's about to pass gas. I can't tell if that's her "I'm sad!" face, or if she's just pained at what a dumb line that was. That wasn't even a sentence! It was two sentence fragments! And they weren't funny, illuminating, or key to moving the story along in any way! You know, I really like Felicity. Did someone throw the real J.J. Abrams in a closet and hire some guy from the local Subway to write the pilot? Sydney mumbles that maybe she'll get used to it. Dixon looks at her, worried.

Taiwan. Reception. Sydney is wearing a red sequined dress that demonstrates that a) she's in incredible physical condition; b) she's a dead ringer for Lypsinka; and c) Scott Foley better watch out, because his wife might know everything there is to know about the crying game. Sydney speaks more poorly-accented Chinese. Generic Asian Bad Guy is also there.

Back to Danny on the phone. He calls Sydney. They have the most nauseating "oh my God, we're a cute, spontaneous couple!" message on their answering machine ever. It's almost classic in its horribleness, right up there with Dylan's "This is Dylan. You know the drill" answering-machine message from 90210. I can't transcribe it because my fingers lock up at every attempt. Danny leaves a long, rambling message about Sydney's secret life and how he knows she's on a secret mission.

The scenes are inter-cut with Sydney and Dixon doing super-spy stuff, set to pumping techno. Dixon fakes an attack; Sydney runs off to get help. Dixon then scrambles all the video monitors and Sydney searches for the "Mueller Project."

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