Previously on Alias: ABC forced us to take yet another week off so OF COURSE they have to treat us to "previouslys" dating back to 48 B. fucking C. What happened last time on the show? Who gives a shit? Oh, wait -- Spy Daddy and Spy Mommy DID IT and all the blood rushed to a different head and Spy Mommy got away, thanks, in part, to Uncle Arvy.

This week, we start at the end. No, really. No. Really. Syd's running somewhere with a gun. Irina shoots at her. Syd shoots back. They both breathe heavily. More shooting. Chasing. Shooting. Irina escapes up a hatch and Syd scatter-slow-mos over to her, yelling at her to FREEZE! Irina stupidly does. Durr. NEVER FREEZE WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO! Syd hesitates. Irina takes the hesitation as an opportunity to bolt. Syd actually shoots! Yee-haw! Irina grimaces. The next thing we see is a helicopter landing, but we don't see who's in it. Now outside, Syd runs over to a fallen figure, whose identity we don't know. Vaughn and Dixon approach, with Vaughn ordering someone to get a medic because they have a woman down. Dixon looks disgusted with himself. Vaughn just looks concerned. Syd bawls her crybaby eyes out.

Huh. You wouldn't think that Spy Mommy's DEAD or anything, would you? I mean, even if you don't read the spoilers, it's pretty damn obvious that we're SUPPOSED to think it's Spy Mommy and not Auntie Em who's dead. Oops! Did I say that out loud? Naughty Regina. Bad girl!

Hell-Lay. Five days earlier. See? See how they started at the end? Pay attention! Vaughn and Syd are walking through Oops Center, and Vaughn's saying something about being kept in debrief or whatever. Then he goes, "If you don't see me ever again, it's been fun." And Syd just goes, "Shut up." And they're both so damn cute. It's, like, a two-second scene, but it's totally how I talk to my boyfriends (real or imaginary), so it kind of tweaked me and made me giggle knowingly. Oh, and Jennifer Garner does this cute mock-pout thing when she says "shut up" that is so precious it made Wendy Kroy pick up the phone, dial my number, and go, "I wish I were STRAIGHT."

A couple of CIA thugs come up and inform Vaughn that Richard Lewis would like to see him, and the head thug relieves Vaughn of his ID tag. Oooooh. Must be serious. I'd be much more afraid of Head CIA Thug if he weren't partially balding and looking like Andy Richter's slightly less attractive, moderately paunchier, older cousin of dubious familial origins.

After Vaughn leaves, Syd scoots over to her papa and starts hissing about how Vaughn's innocent and not guilty of treason and if he promises to have her home before midnight on a weekday can she still go to the prom with him? Jack's all, no. And stop making phone calls from your bedroom after midnight from beneath your sheets. Do you think I can't SEE the flashlight and the cord under the door? Oh, and the operation in Panama? With your mother? Yeah. Not so much.

Syd's all, what happened? Is Mommy okay? Do you think SHE'D let me go to prom with my hot blue-oxford-wearing boyfriend with the clever eyes? Spy Daddy takes a singular pause and then goes, "Your mother betrayed us," in this completely blunt manner. Oh, and Victor Garber does this sideways glance before he says it, as if to suggest that Jack's having difficulty with the decision to tell Syd that her mother's a sneaky backstabbing bitch, but it's so quick that it's obviously Victor Garber's way of communicating just how tactless and calculating Jack can really be. Hee.

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