Alias
Tuesday

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
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It's Always Been My Least Favorite Day of the Week

Marshall finds the grave and starts digging. He is going to dig the hell out of that grave!

Elsewhere in the Apple Store, Jack watches the action live on his very own satellite thermal feed. Nadia comes up behind him. Ugh, I hate it when people watch TV over my shoulder.

Now stripped down to his undershirt, Marshall continues to dig furiously. He finally hits wood, and tears the coffin open. There's the dead guy, his face now no longer turned towards Sydney, so I guess she moved his head away from her at some point. Good call. Next to him is Syd, looking not very conscious. Marshall drags her out and checks to see if she's breathing. Mouth-to-mouth is performed. The Apple gang watches the action on the satellite feed. Vaughn wonders why Marshall is so close to his girlfriend. They will be having a talk about this when Marshall gets back. Suddenly, Syd chokes and coughs. Back at Apple, Vaughn reports that the Syd satellite figure is moving. Jack looks relieved and possibly tearful, in his way.

Syd and Marshall breathe heavily. Digging and coming back from the dead are real workouts, you know. "Thanks," Syd says. "You're welcome," says Marshall. Maria de los Reyes, who thought her visit to place flowers on her mother's grave would be routine and fairly uneventful, wonders if she should report this grave-robbing attempt turned rescue or just walk away and forget it ever happened.

Back in L.A., Sloane has called a meeting to discuss the Third Faction. Syd's picture has been identified, and they've got an ID on his boss, named "Ulrich." So that's where Skeet has been all this time! And here I thought his career had stalled, but he was really just focusing on heading his new terrorist cell. Syd and Marshall, in a car somewhere, are also listening and watching the meeting, and Syd says that Ulrich is the guy who buried her. Sloane says they believe he has the intel about the nerve gas target on his computer. But the Apple crew is still locked up. Which means it's up to Syd and Marshall to get to Ulrich's Berlin nightclub, steal his computer, and upload it to the Apple Store. Syd says the only problem with that plan is that Ulrich knows her face. She won't be able to get close to him. "Or we can send in someone else," Syd says, turning to Marshall. "I've never been to Berlin," says Marshall.

Berlin! Syd and Marshall have outfitted themselves in some hot leather, and Syd gives Marshall a last-minute tutorial on undercover technique. Maintain eye contact, don't show fear, and get this flash drive within two or three feet of Ulrich's computer, where it will automatically steal all of its information and send it to the Apple Store. Marshall isn't too thrilled about getting that close to Lars Ulrich. He's so angry looking in that "Enter Sandman" video. Plus, as Marshall points out, he did manage to bury Sydney alive. "Yeah, but he cheated. He hit me with a car first," Syd responds. Hopefully, Ulrich won't have any access to cars inside the nightclub and will thus be rendered defenseless. Sydney shows Marshall a cell phone that is also a gun with two bullets, and tells him to be careful when he loads it. Marshall points out that he knows how the gadgets work, being the person who built them all. "It's different in the field," says Syd. Marshall's real, non-gun-concealing cell phone rings, and Marshall interrupts his spy gadget teaching session to get it. It's the wife, and she's not pleased about Marshall being gone for so long. And the baby is still sick. Marshall asks Carrie to put Mitch on, then turns away from Syd to sing to him. To the tune of popular lullaby, "Hush, Little Baby," Marshall sings: "Hush, little Mitchell, don't you cry. Daddy's gonna teach you 'bout lanthanides." Syd snickers. Yes, Marshall sings lullabies about the periodic table. I'll give him credit, it would certainly put me to sleep. "Cerium's first, yes it leads the way. Hexagonal structure and it's iron gray. Praseodymium is next and it looks like brass --" and then Carrie apparently comes back on the line to nag Marshall to come home already. Marshall says he'll be home by tonight. He promises. Carrie hangs up. Syd says Marshall will be home by tonight. Marshall leaves the van, turning back to Syd. She gives him a reassuring smile. Hey, if the wife makes him quit the spy business, Marshall can always fall back on his upcoming book, Marshall Goose's Nerdsery Rhymes, featuring children's favorites, "Jack and Jill Went Up The Hill (To Factor Quadratic Equations)" and "Three Blind Muons."

All that stuffy coffin suspense didn't show us enough boobies. Thankfully, Robert Urich's club has them in spades! Big, round spades with areolas. Marshall enters, looking kinda cool in his leather jacket. If he wears that home to his wife, she'll probably forgive him for being gone for the last three days. Suddenly, a woman walks up and tongue-rapes Marshall. "I think I just got hepatitis!" Marshall says when he manages to pull away from her. Probably herpes, too. The wife is not going to be quite so thrilled about that. He finds the back office, and reports that it is being guarded by a lot of men with a lot of guns. Syd tells him to go for it. Marshall takes a shot of something alcoholic-looking and walks towards the back office. In cool slow-motion, he maintains eye contact with all the guards.

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Alias

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