In the first half of this season's two-part finale, The Ceiling Demon abducts Darling Sammy from an out-of-the-way cafÃ© -- after slitting the throats of the restaurant's other occupants, natch -- and magically transports his ginormous ass to a literal ghost town called Cold Oak, South Dakota. Yes, "literal." The place is apparently infested with so many spirits and demons and things that go bump in the night (right before they rip your head off your neck to slurp up the subsequent spurting gouts of blood) that all of the burg's residents abandoned it decades ago. Once Sam regains his senses, he quickly runs into a quartet of other super-special mommy-free and -having kids: Andy Gallagher (the mind-bender from "Simon Said"), Ava Wilson (the fellow psychic from "Hunted," who apparently has no memory of the last five months), an Army grunt with the strength of ten named Jake who vanished from Afghanistan, and a lovely San Diego lesbian named Lily who accidentally stopped her girlfriend's heart one day about a year ago with nothing more than a touch of her hand.
After the expected amounts of confusion, The Ceiling Demon himself appears to Sam in a dream to let him know what's really going on: It's a supernatural cage match between the five from which only one can emerge victorious. One little thing The Ceiling Demon neglects to mention, of course, is the fact that Ava's actually in on the whole thing, too, and has been offing quartets of other super-special mommy-free and -having kids ever since she arrived in Cold Oak back in January. She quickly dispatches Lily and Andy before getting her neck snapped by Jake, who is also in on the whole fight-to-the-death concept, and after a smackdown between the two remaining contenders in which Jake breaks one of Darling Sammy's remarkably broad shoulders before Sam thinks he's knocked his opponent insensate with an iron bar, crafty Jake shoves a Bowie knife into Sam's back. Just as Dean and Bobby arrive to rescue him, no less. How will it all end? Tune in next week.
Oh, yeah, almost forgot: Someone blew up Harvelle's; Ash is now...ash, actually; Ellen's MIA; and Mary Winchester was well acquainted with The Yellow-Eyed Demon long before he nailed her to the ceiling with a foot-wide gash through her torso. God, I love this show.
Raoul, I believe you have yet another announcement to make before we begin? "I certainly do! [Ahem!] EFH can download me to her hard drive anytime!" Raoul! That's...that's repulsive! "What on earth could you possib...oh! OH! My profuse apologies, most certainly! Thanks for everything, EFH!" I swear to GOD, Raoul. ANY-way, on with the recap!
"A storm's comin', and you boys? You are smack in the middle of it." Crackle, Crackle THE ROAD SO FAR! The runs up and down the scale that mark the opening of Boston's "Foreplay" that'd been dancing around underneath give way to the track's first hard guitar chord just as The Ceiling Demon blows up their mother in the series premiere. After a couple of quick blackouts a the appropriate moments, the second chord hits as Tiny Sam wails in his crib, and the third arrives just as the nursery goes nuclear above Shut Up Daddy's head. "You know the truth?" The Yellow-Eyed Ceiling Demon asks Shut Up Daddy in this season's first episode. "About Sammy and the other children?" A blink-and-you'll-miss-it quick-cut montage of those other super-special mommy-free and -having children whips by to land upon the kimono-jacketed Andy Gallagher cheerily accepting a cup of coffee in Guthrie, Oklahoma, during "Simon Said" right before Ava Wilson introduces herself to Sam in Lafayette, Indiana's Blue Rose Motel during "Hunted." "I didn't hurt anybody," Andy howls, leading Sam to smirk, "Yeah, not yet." And while Max The Psychotic Psychokinetic from "Nightmare" threatens his stepmother's eye with a kitchen knife, Sam gets him to admit in a voice-over that Max's powers first appeared seven months before that particular episode aired. "How'd you know that?" the snot-nosed and doomed Max bleats. "The same thing killed our mothers!" Sam urgently replies, in an answer that makes sense only in the context of this opening sequence. Another quick-cut montage reminds us all of the details leading up to Mary Winchester's untimely demise, particularly the bit where she thought she saw her husband looming over Sam's crib before realizing that the man she thought she saw couldn't possibly be Shut Up Daddy. "We were chosen!" Sam continues. "For what?" The Snottily Psychotic Psychokinetic snaps. "I don't know!" Sam breathes.