Kid bursts into Ally's office. She excitedly says that "there's a bar downstairs," with a "stage" and "music," and she got Bonnie "booked....Tonight. Elaine helped." Elaine is all, "I should have checked first," but if Bonnie can't do it, she'll fill in. Kid says that if this show goes well, Bonnie can get bookings in Boston, and then Kid can see Ally "like, all the time!" Ally hides her mouth behind her hand. Bonnie asks if Kid said she wanted to live with Ally. Kid says it was a "test." And she wants to stay the night to get to know Ally better. Ally says Bonnie will do the gig. "Why not?" Bonnie laughs, tickled.
John and Richard are in a conference room. John says he is "stressed, maybe in light of world events, but if you introduce that...it will push my stress to the breaking point!" "That" is a photo of the client's wife with the outline of a soccer ball over her face. The client walks in, says that when he sees his wife's picture he can't believe she's gone, then sits on John. John is all, "Heee-eey!" Client says he didn't see him there. And why can't they introduce the picture? It's just a picture. He doesn't notice the soccer ball drawing. He can't see it. The music gets mischievous.
Client is on the stand. He said he saw a ball and kicked it. Why did he kick someone else's ball? He doesn't know. He loved his wife, and had never been happier. The other lawyer steps up and establishes that the client had behaved normally up till that point. He asks whether the defendant ever hit his wife prior to the kicking incident? Once, he slapped her: "It was a mistake." John and Richard lean back, displeased.
Client says he loved his wife and would never ever...he hangs his coat on John. John has a mild outburst, and then Client explains he "doesn't always see" John. When he slapped his wife, he thought she was a mosquito. He thought John was a coat rack: "Sometimes, [John] looks like a coat rack." Client "looks at people and sees inanimate objects." John says maybe it's time to see a neurologist. Maybe.
Bonnie Boone takes the stage in the bar to applause and cheers. After starting her medley with the theme (not jingle, but jingoistic for sure) to Love, American Style, she goes into the theme from The Brady Bunch, and pats Nelle on the head. Nelle, why do you even go to the bar, if you hate everyone so much? Just drink at home. Bonnie has a very pure voice; I can see how she failed as a blues singer. She's too sweet and pure-sounding. There's no dirty quality to her vocals, and the blues require that. Okay, after Cheers, she goes into Welcome Back, Kotter. Elaine grabs the mic and hogs the spotlight. She takes the stage for the Happy Days theme. Finally, we get to The Best Theme of All Time, Mary Tyler Moore. Though I really love the Rhoda theme, and Love Boat too. Hawaii Five-O is the best instrumental theme. When I moved back to NYC in 1990, there was a guy who rode the 1 and the 9 trains playing a comb. His intro was, "You're going home! I play a comb! You've seen the best! I'm the rest!" He played the hell out of Hawaii Five-O. I'd crack up, even though other riders hated him. His fee? A dollar or less. I'd pony up. Hey, he's busking and an alcoholic -- give him a break. I hope Bonnie drinks, too, with a gig that lame. I know I do...I mean, "would."