Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: F | 1404 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Double Indemnity, Dammit

Closing arguments. Liza gestures to a bunch of people sitting in the back of the courtroom, all of whom depend on Helena. If Beard gets to give his wife drugs, it's signing a death warrant for Helena. Judge Hall is all, "But Helena is killing Helen." Liza says that the "stronger personality should win out." Judge asks how he can decide such a thing. Liza says no one should. The judge says that doctors decide that sort of thing every day. Liza says, "Yes, to remedy illness. But Helena is more competent than Helen." John steps up and makes a pretty weak argument to the effect that Helen came first, and therefore should stay. Judge says that Kyra is Helena 95\% of the time, so why shouldn't he care more about Helena? John has no answer for that. Liza leaps up and says, "You stumped him, Judge." John says the judge did not, and tells her, "Sit down, Ms. Stump. Rump. Bump!" Liza rolls her eyes and sits with a thump. John says, "Balls," walks over to Ally, and says, "You see this person here? She has hallucinations. Sees things. Has a hundred personalities. Some people say she's in need of mental health. But I never, ever question who she is." Because "what defines her most is her soul." And at Helena's soul is Helen: "That's where she loves, where she paints, where she writes her poems. Even Helena knows that." And the thing about Helena being more successful than Helen? "Says more about our world than about her." Go sad oboe, go!

Chambers. Ally asks John whether he meant what he said back there. No, he was totally bullshitting. Can I just ask, is the firm getting two paychecks for this gig? One from Helena, one from Helen? Does Beard have a gig? Maybe singing cabaret somewhere? Ally meant her soul. John says she is "nothing if not a soul." Yeah. Duh. Ally says that the best things "ever said to [her] always come from John." John says that Ally "helped save Helen," and that their souls "connected." Hooray. Whoops, the judge has his ruling.

Ally McBeal

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