Ally McBeal
All Of Me

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: F | Grade It Now!
Double Indemnity, Dammit

Liza and Dame Edna get in a "move!" "No, YOU move!" snit, as if anyone cares about someone hating Dame Edna when there are just two episodes left, and Richard tells Liza that Helena is "a wackadoo." Liza says, "What?" You heard him. Wackadoo.

Ally's office. Helen has asked Ally to represent her. Her job? Housewife. Helena is the one who owns the clothing stores. Liza and Fish are all, "Helena hired us." Fish says that Helen "seems nice." Then, Helena snaps in, asking who the hell Ally is. Liza smiles. Helena stands up, says she wants the divorce papers filed, and that they are to "disregard" the persona of Helen. Is everyone is "up to speed" on the dual personalities now? Good. She leaves. Liza giggles, saying, "It's so weeeird!" Ally looks a little sad. Oh, so a woman with a mental disease is going to stand trial with this crew? Hoo boy.

Mariachi band, singing Tom Jones's "Delilah." Not a Mexican song. John really hits his "porque." Ally watches, looking sad. A few dancing Mexican puppets aid the transition as John sits down with Ally at a table. Ally says she "need[s]" him. John waves her away, but Ally tells him about the split personality of Helen/Helena, how both hired Liza, Fish, and Ally to do different jobs, and how "crazy" it all is. John taps his face with a maraca, musing over the predicament. Ally says Helen "seems nice," but is "being taken over by her overbearing side," Helena. Oh, what-the-fuck ever! You could also look at it as a woman who, after being submissive to her husband for years, is waking up and coming into herself and doing what she's always wanted to do. Oh, but in DEK's world, women are naturally submissive and want to be so, and having a career is something we're TAUGHT to want. To make it in the working (re: MAN'S) world, we women act tougher. Femininity is quashed out of us and needs to be "re-taught," so we can use our "natural wiles" to advantage, a.k.a. the Bully Broad seminar. DEK, your bad, unfunny show with its fucked-up mores ENRAGES me. I hate you with a passion. I hope every project you take on in the future fails, and that you have an unhappy life. You deserve to be punished for clogging up the ether with your stupid dreck, but I'll leave that to someone with better connections than I. Shame. Shame on you! I really, really hate you. The Mariachi band starts up with "What's New, Pussycat," and John hollers over the din. Is Ally okay with the Victor thing? Can John do anything? Ally wants John to help her with the case, that's it. Just this one last time. Yay! It's almost the last time for real! Thank you-know-who.

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Ally McBeal




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